LEMUEL

NEW LOCATION!

2011-09-15T22:32:00.000+08:00

I've moved to http://lemmylemlem.wordpress.com/! Do drop by for more updates and interesting news!

I've also been offering coaching services for cycling! Check it out here at http://lemcoachingservices.wordpress.com/!

The Post - Tour Syndrome

2011-07-27T00:10:00.002+08:00

Photo credits: cyclingnews.com

And that's it for Tour de France 2011! I'm stoked to say that my prediction came true - Cadel Evans wins his first ever Grand Tour, albeit the biggest one!

I was watching this video on youtube on Mia Freedman commenting on Cadel Evans and his win ... and she's one ignorant person! I think many people don't realise just how tough the sport of cycling is and how little these professionals get paid as compared to many other sports!! If people were in professional cycling for the money, fame, and whatever, I think they would have quit the sport long time ago!!!

Cadel Evans win of the Tour is evidence and inspiration that as long as you're hardworking, honest, consistent, and keep believing, you're bound for great things. He's one of the most complete cyclist of this generation in my opinion, not forgetting the fact that he was the World Champion in 2009 as well. He has always been up there in the world of cycling in terms of results, and for ages (10 years to be exact) has been trying to win the Tour de France. Always so close, but never. He's always bagging podium placings, top race finishings, or wins from the start of the cycling season right through till the end. Always up there and consistent. I'd recommend everyone to read his book, Close to Flying, and you'd be agreeing with me!

The reason why I chose the picture above and not the usual pictures of the podium ceremony is because to me, this depicts more of what cycling really is - pure and raw. And mind you, his teammates were about as excited as most of Australia were! I'll put the links up to their blogs if I've the time ... but it isn't everyday you get to be in the winning team of the Tour de France!!

Time for me to get some sleep, but have you ever had this thing called the Post - Tour Syndrome ... where you suddenly feel quite lost as to what to do when you open up your web browser and use the internet?

Superman?!

The Tour de France so far.

2011-07-22T00:51:00.005+08:00

Photo Credits: cyclingtipsblog.com

I have been wanting to post a few things about the Tour de France ever since it started and continually give my thoughts and opinions as the race progresses, but I obviously haven’t been able to do it. Well, so far at least!

This year’s Tour just keeps getting more and more exciting and I’m sure most of us are all on the edge of our seats every night (or most nights at least) keeping track of how the race progresses! The first week was just marred by lots and lots of crashes, enough to make it look ridiculous! Just to make it clear, it’s not that these pros are lousy in handling their bike, it’s just that because the GC was not as settled as it used to be with a prologue, as well as every rider trying to get into a breakaway or be at the front to try to win a stage, that everyone’s nervous and all fighting for the first quarter of the peloton every single minute. Factor in the wind, GC teams trying to bring their leaders up towards the front, and loads of fans makes things even more dangerous.

Also, one important thing to note is that these guys have to be desperate to fight for their positions, because this is their “rice bowl”. You can’t just back off when someone touches you, otherwise you’re never gonna be in contention for a stage win at the very least.

Of course, there were just freak accidents, like the one Flecha and Hoogerland were involved in. That was just plain nonsense on the part of the driver.

Notable wins go to the 2 Norwegians, Thor Hushovd and Edvald Boasson Hagen! These 2 norwegians are crazy strong and canny! They’ve already won 4 stages out of 18 stages, that’s a really good winning percentage!

Also not forgetting the Philippe Gilbert, the rider who just has so much panache, power, and cunningness!! I just love his attitude!

If there was an award for the most consistent performer of the Tour de France, I’m sure that Cadel Evans would be the one to get it! It’s just amazing how consistent he is, not just this year, but for the past few years the very least! He looks poised to take his first ever Tour de France victory, as if winning stages weren’t enough. Actually, no, it’s not enough for him!

Stage 18 has been quite a nail – biting stage, especially towards the finale! Andy Schleck went really early – 60 plus km out and no one wanted (or could) close the gap on him … Till Cadel decided enough was enough and stormed furiously on the pedals. It’s quite sad to see him do all the work, but if you watch the finale, everyone was just dropping off his wheel save a few.

Definitely a man of pure grit and determination. Hard man.

Another hard man? Thomas Voeckler! This man might just be the definition of not only pure grit and determination, but also pain and suffering! My favorite to win this Tour is Cadel, but looking at the way Voeckler is going, I sure do hope he gets a podium finish at least!

Keeping my fingers crossed for Cadel Evans as they head into the final mountain stage tomorrow!

If Cadel’s able to stick with all the main GC contenders and hammer his guts out on the next day’s time trial, I’m pretty sure he’ll be in the yellow jersey!!

P.S: My opinion of Andy Schleck dropped when he started complaining about the descents and how people only wanted to watch races won on uphills, rather than downhills. That was complete nonsense to me, because I feel that the winner of the Tour de France, arguably the world’s biggest race, should be skillful in both up and down! Removing descents and making races just flat and up is making them unfair and unspectacular. Of course, they have to be within reason …

I’m interested to know what you think! Comment here or on facebook!

My Junior days ...

2011-07-14T01:00:00.003+08:00

I recently got tagged in this photo and the moment I looked at it, it was like stepping into a time machine!! This was my first overseas stage race under a proper team (if memory doesn't fail me), and oh boy, all the excitement just suddenly comes back!

My junior days will always bring back many fond memories ...

... and I'll be quite reminiscent of them. Those were the days where I rode my bike just simply because I really loved doing it, raced my bike like a noob and always trying to learn from others, and didn't care about a thing in the world!

It's not that I don't love riding my bike anymore, but as you grow older, you start to think about how you can carve a career out of racing a bike and it's a lot more stress. Those days, nada. I rode to escape from school, and life. Just pure love, thrill, and passion.

A few years have gone by ... 6 years to be more exact, and here I am, still pedalling away. Same heart, just with a lil' more muscular body, a smarter mind, and a lot more support.

It amazes me what you can do with a bit of zeal, passion, commitment, and self - belief.

From that, to this. And hopefully, more to come.

All by God's grace.

So many things in such a short time

2011-07-11T23:02:00.000+08:00

WOW. Where do I begin?!

I've been trying to get myself to post something up here ... but every time I wanna do it, I've got no idea where to start ... OR, there's just too many things that I wanna write that I foresaw myself running out of time before my next appointment!

The last time I posted about myself was just a day after national champs. I actually spent about 3 days after that trying to recover from the effort I put in during the race, and although I thought on that tuesday that I could just continue my normal training, my body seemed to tell me otherwise. So yes, I gave myself a bit of break, both for my physical and mental well - being and started a new training block on the first week of July instead.

Interestingly, it wasn't till after that few days of break that it finally sank in that I was the new national champion. Quite amazing how your body can just tune everything out including thoughts and just focus on repairing itself.

Last week was a really happening week for me by my standards, and my body just couldn't take it. Did so many things in a short span of 6 days that my body totally crashed on the 7th day.

What happened was that Shing had block leave the whole of last week ... as well as Ji En's last week in Singapore before he flew off to Aussie, and that simply meant a couple of stayovers ... lots of time spent outside ... no home - cooked meals ... lots of rushing here and there ... not enough rest ... yet still training as per normal ... well you get the idea. Not the ideal situation.

My body was starting to crumble on friday, but it was my birthday too, and I'd a BBQ dinner ... more heaty food and home late again. Sleeping at 12am and waking up at 5am was a really tough task for me, but I had to get up early to train because it was Ji Wen's and Jocelyn's wedding in the late morning!!! Most eggciting!! =D

To cut the long story short, I still had to go to church after the wedding and it lasted all the way till the night before I could go home to get some sleep. By then my body was just destroying itself and true enough when I woke up the next morning, I wasn't fit to get on my bike and had to take the day off.

That was a dumb thing for me to do but oh well.

So here am I, on a monday night ... feeling much much much better than how I was feeling on saturday night, and ready to train even harder the coming week.

I Will Beat My Ass Today To Kick Yours Tomorrow.

I kinda sidetracked ...

Coaching Services

2011-06-30T00:26:00.002+08:00

I've got something egg - citing to announce ... and it's that I'm offering my very own coaching services!!

You could go and click on the "coaching services" tab on the far right - hand side of my blog here ... or if you're lazy, here's the brochure below - just click:

It's exciting for me because coaching is what I want to do in the future, if I can't make a living out of racing my bike!

Do drop me an email or sms if you're interested or know of people who're interested and we can work something out (yes, price included)!

Race my heart out

2011-06-27T00:56:00.001+08:00

And that's just what I did for today.

It's only just slowly starting to sink in that I'm the 2011 National Men's Elite Road Champion. I still haven't fully comprehended how on earth it happened. I know what I did and I would've no problem projecting what exactly happened onto a screen if it were possible ... But it was just so unexpected!

I knew that I only had about a 2% chance of winning or taking the title, and that if that were to happen, it would more likely be from an early break. Well 2% chance is much better than a 0% chance, and sometimes all we need is to just keep believing and never stop, because if we do, we've already lost the race.

My job today was to simply get into the early breaks and make the other teams work to reel me back so that the rest of the guys could keep their powder dry for the later part of the race. I know I stayed out alone for the first time for some time, and then with another person for the next 2 times before I was finally content to relax a little in the peleton as Jun Rong got a nice big gap over the peleton. I remember thinking that that was it for me, job done. And then I looked at the meter and we were barely halfway through the race ... Sorry legs no rest for you yet and after a short rest it was time to go to the front to mess up the chase led by the other teams.

It worked a little and was a little annoying I know (sorry guys I was just doing my job!) ... but in the end Jun Rong was brought back and Junaidi went with another guy. I actually thought that was the move to would stay away and I was hoping that it would, because my legs were quite toast and the cramps were starting to come ... I thought that was it for me and I'd just do as much as I could before I dropped dead on the floor so that the rest of the guys would have more energy in the finale.

When Jud and the other guy got caught, it was almost ending, about 5 laps more? Everyone wanted to do a last minute getaway and so I was just barely hanging on for dear life with my legs all gone. There were a few times when I got caught in the back spilt of the peleton and ouch. The important thing though, was that I made sure I moved up to the front as soon as we caught back on.

It was the 2nd last lap after a spilt or something got caught and the peleton came back together that I attacked. I never made that move and thought it would stick. I made that move in the hope to stay out as long as possible and let the other teams do the chasing so that once they caught me, the rest of the team could carry on with the momentum and lead adi out for the sprint! Turns out my move stuck to the finish with Tim Wilkins from Cannasia doing a lot of the work.

But it also turned out to be the most painful 7km of my life. I actually cramped when I made my last attack, but I saw Jud's hand come up, signalling someone to attack and I also knew that that was a really good time to go - it started raining then and it was just before a u turn, and so I just pressed on the pedals harder and went. I was actually quite surprised at how much the gap opened up especially once Tim Wilkins bridged up to me!

The rest was just a blur of pain, suffering, and loads of shouting and screaming from all the pain. I know I'd let my teammates and Daniel down if I didn't hang on in front and so I had to shut everything up and listen to my heart. I couldn't sprint at the end but when I crossed the line, I couldn't believe I was the National Champion.

I didn't think much during this race but just did a lot of things based on instinct. At the end of the day, what satisfied me the most was that I raced my heart out and didn't hold anything back at all. The result was a bonus. And I'm really happy the team worked nicely together.

Special shout - out to Daniel Loy, who has always believed in me and supported me in thousands of ways since I was a Junior. The next time we must win with no one else in the picture =D

P.S: I think the most ironic thing today was that I wasn't able to tell the people I wanted to (who were not at the race) the news because I lost my phone on the way to the race. That's funny.

There was no way I could've done what I did today without God.

Day by day ...

2011-06-10T12:36:00.001+08:00

I haven't been updating much here because I've been talking about the race on the team's blog: http://ocbcbanksingaporecyclingteam.blogspot.com/ and so if you're interested go visit it and read up about what's going on!

I'll try my best to update here about more personal stuff and not just mere reporting about the day's events (cuz you can read about that in the team's blog) but it's not easy when you're tired and need to do other stuff as well.

Anyhow, I've been trying since day 1 to get into a winning break but I haven't succeeded since. Did get into a few breaks but just not the decisive one ... doesn't mean a thing though. Need to try harder and be more alert and aggressive, yet be smart at the same time. And with a little bit of "luck", or so people say, I hope to be in a winning move in one of the remaining stages. Not many stages left and even fewer that are suited to me, but I must keep trying.

And of course, one of the main goals for me is to complete the whole tour ... because I haven't been completing any since the start of the season and it's just not good for me especially. Day by day, with much prayer, is how I'm gonna take it. Yes, with much prayer.

Realign. Refocus. II

2011-05-26T23:26:00.000+08:00

You never stop trying.

Really glad that I gave the intervals another shot after work and I managed to complete it.

Great for motivation, and a nice way to end the day. Best thing was that it made dinner feel so worth it.

I think being emo is good. I actually think everyone's emo to a certain extent ... cause we all have emotions and even the strongest person slips once in a while.

It's just all about how you deal with those emotions. People usually choose to wallow in self - pity and think negative thoughts. I'd rather transform it into something useful or positive and use it as a motivating factor. It's good to beat yourself up sometimes. Something I picked up from Lance Armstrong and Henrich Haussler in their individual interviews.

And of course, coffee helps too!

I really hope it rains super duper heavily during National Road Championships next month ... I just realised it's exactly a month from now! Rain rain rain please rain ... Daniel knows why!

You never stop trying.

Realign. Refocus.

2011-05-26T11:27:00.000+08:00

It's just rare that I use the com in the morning, but thought I should get it all out before work.

I just couldn't do the intervals today. I couldn't even get myself to suffer just a bit.

Heart and mind not in the right place. Legs don't feel good. Today's just a really shitty morning from the moment I woke up ... I could feel it, but it wasn't too new a feeling and the only way was just to push on and get the training done. Well, it also only usually works with base rides only.

No doubt I am disappointed that I'm not racing Tour de Singkarak this year. I had wanted to race that so badly so that I could prove to myself I wasn't a piece of shit this season and I still had the form or legs like last year. It was also meant to be my preparation and confidence booster for the national champs ... that's cuz I felt like I was flying during last year's national champs and I did the few Tours just before it.

I know what to do, and it isn't the end of the world, because I still have the national champs to focus on. All I have to do is to just realign my focus. But that's easier said than done, as evidenced by today's training.

I know what to do, but the heart's resistant. I guess it's hard to just switch focus like that, especially when you've been focusing on something that was meant to be your big confidence booster.

Not easy, but not impossible either.

What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But then, maybe it's not just getting over it. This question has always been lingering since the start of the year and after all the messages and people I talk to. Why am I suffering so much for something temporal?

2011-05-24T23:52:00.000+08:00

Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

- Frank Outlaw

How true is that! It all just starts from a small thought/belief and oh what a long way it goes ... People always underestimate how powerful our mind is and how much they can control it.

But of course, you don't exactly control your destiny. God does.

You just do your best and God does the rest.

I think one of the best things about being a child of God is that no matter what happens, especially when things turn out the way you don't want it to be and you get this pissed off feeling in your heart, you're able to goozfrabba yourself/calm yourself down and say ... My God is in control, there's a reason behind it, and His way is always the best.

Epiphany of some sorts

2011-05-18T23:46:00.000+08:00

Or what I like to call it, Nirvana! Haha.

It happened during today's training, when I suddenly had so many ideas on my planned coaching business flooding my head!! The brain just went overdrive that I had to even reach into my jersey pocket to take my phone out to record the ideas into the notes section ... otherwise I'd definitely forget about them! It was quite a cool thing because today's ride just happened so fast that I found myself home in no time. Well either that or it's cuz I'm getting fitter. Haha.

I guess that's why I love cycling so much, or endurance sports for that matter. Sometimes stuff like that just happens and it gives your mind a channel to think through stuff, while doing something useful.

I'm looking forward to setting up my own career, even though I've absolutely no clue how to do it and that the risks are quite high. But well, it's all or nothing. The most important thing is to look upwards for guidance.

I'm quite happy I just need to do a 2 hour ride tmr ... it means that I get to sleep in a lil' more. Absolutely tired from a long day.

On a different note, FCM tonight was quite a blessing! =D

You like it??

2011-05-18T01:00:00.000+08:00

How'd you like the updated blog!?

Let me know! Post a comment!

Any comments or suggestions welcomed! No scared! =D

You know it's the third and hardest week of your training block when ...

2011-05-16T09:34:00.001+08:00

... you start to feel your legs falling apart

... all you feel like doing every single free time is sleep, sleep, and sleep

... your mind starts looking forward to the recovery week ahead

... food cravings happen

... you wanna spend time with other things in life than your bicycle

... you groan in pain even in your sleep cuz you're just so sore

... you feel like chopping off the lower part of your body and hanging them in your balcony for them to dry

... you feel like sleeping lots (oh did I mention that already?)

... your legs are constantly in pain and aching all over

... you zone out sometimes because you're just too tired

... you get more irritable

... you just want to sit or lie down somewhere and not keep standing!!

... sometimes you don't sleep well even though you're so tired and sore

... you want peace and quietness (tranquilo!) instead of constant yapping and talking

... you start to want and think of more ways how to spend time with pple close to you

So yes, I just completed my third block of training yesterday. Happy with my form now and how good I feel on the bike as compared to how I felt before the start of this training block. It's the first training block I've completed ever since feb when I injured my ankle and I'm really happy about it. It's quite amazing how good you can feel after just one training block. I'm obviously still not at my peak form yet and there's much training/racing to be done, but for now ... I'm just gonna enjoy my REST DAY and just REST AND ENJOY LIFE!!!

Breakfast at jones ... here I come ... =D

Hard work and brute force

2011-04-22T12:03:00.003+08:00

The last time I posted something here was when I was still trying to find my rhythm between training and work, both of which I just started doing at that point in time. About one month later, I'm here to tell you that I've been in a world of shit riding my bicycle. Yepp you heard me, world of shit.

But before we talk about that world of shit ... let's talk about something less shitty: WORK.

After working in the cafe for almost close to 2 months, I've found my own zone which I can easily switch to when things get really busy. I've picked up quite a few things from there, from the most basic things like food storage to more complicated stuff like making coffee and cooking. That's a good thing cuz my main objective of working there is to learn some new skills so that in the future if I go overseas to train or study I can get some part time work. It's always good to have some skills. There's a new outlet coming up as well in the month of June, but it's more of a booth than a cafe which sells sandwiches and drinks like smoothies and milkshakes and of course, coffee!! I think if I stick around long enough with the cafe I'd learn a lot more things.

Back to the world of shit...

I went for 2 races after about 6 weeks of being not able to ride too long or too hard and only 3 weeks of proper training in the saddle ... And boy it was suffering. The first race Tour of Thailand was far from satisfactory ... and I basically went there to get my ass whooped. Not a nice feeling to get dropped early in the race and continue riding for 4 hours only to get pulled out when I cramped up so bad I couldn't even pedal anymore. I spent the rest of the tour riding 4 hours everyday and 6 hours on the last day. I was secretly happy I could do it cuz I really need to get my mileage in. I love training overseas. Conducive!

Tour de Fillipinas was few days after Tour of Thailand, and it wasn't as bad as the first Tour I'd say. I told myself that I'd be really disappointed if I don't get into a winning breakaway in any of the stages, and I was really happy that I managed to do that on the first stage. I knew I had to choose my attacks carefully because I only had a few matches to burn ... The first part of the race was just sitting around watching attacks go and come back, and I think many people were expecting it to be a big bunch sprint finish. The previous night during our team meeting Daniel told us to just patrol the front and wait for the finale. But as the progressed, my legs started getting itchy and it seemed more likely that a break would stay away because I could see that the peloton was getting tired from chasing back attacks and there was a break in front that was up there for quite some time. I couldn't stand just letting the break hang there and wait for the finale because hey, I knw I have a 0% chance in getting top 20 if it really does come down to a big bunch sprint ... but if I get into a break, there's a 10% chance of that. So why not? In the end when a guy from each of the strong teams attacked, I quickly jumped to one of their wheels and that was it.

From then on, the only thing that kept me going was the shame I'll put myself through and the disappointment of my teammates if I get dropped from the break back to the peloton. Once the break looked like it'd stay away, the only thing going through my head was "You're gonna eat shit now ... you're gonna eat shit now ...". And yes, I was truly suffering and tearing my guts out just to hang on. It was more of brute force and mental strength that kept me in the break rather than my fitness, because my fitness is shit.

At the end of the day, I got 30th position and 4th on young rider's classification. Good start and I thought I'd a chance to move up to at least 2nd position given the course profiles of stage 2 and 3. Was determined to get into another break the next day because well, it was SUPPOSED to be a flat day. I kinda had this feeling that it wouldn't be flat but perhaps a bit rolling ... but the next day it was REALLY tough terrain and everyone felt cheated by the course profile. It wasn't flat at all mann ...

Needless to say, I got dropped on a long climb just before the first KOM and spent half the race riding alone till I caught Jud and Qi2. Never seen Jud so tired and give up in a race and so Qi2 and I spent the rest of the day trying to make it to the finish. I actually hallucinated a bit and I thought I saw the team car when I saw Qi2 and was so upset that it zoomed off just when we were about to catch Qi2!!! That was quite amusing. All in all, it wasn't a nice day at all and I felt like puking all the way from 30km to the finish till I finally got to take a nap in the room. Missed the time cut by 2min and so it was game over for the team.

Learnt 3 things from Tour de Filipinas:

1. Sometimes you just gotta trust your instincts and GO!

2. The highs and lows of racing are really what makes you hooked to the sport and motivated to invest your energy into it more.

3. You may not be fit, but your mind is far greater. If only you're willing to suffer.

I'm supposed to talk about my lab test as well ... but because I've to go out to meet Shing now, next time!

Oh and it's Good Friday today.

Work work and work!

2011-03-11T22:33:00.001+08:00

What a week it has been! It also marks my first week of work in the F&B sector / non - sports related sector!

It's good to step out of your comfort zone and what you usually do for a while sometimes ... and go try something different and totally unrelated. Makes life interesting, and tests your adaptability all over again.

For you guys who still don't know, I'm working at some cafe in town (near the perenakan museum and city hall) called SOHO7. I asked the boss just yesterday why the weird name ... it was actually supposed to be named after the building, but it also means Son Of the Holy One, and 7 being the perfect number. The boss is apparently also a Christian and hence the name. Cool cafe, very cozy and serves really good and really really fresh coffee - cuz we roast our own beans in small batches almost every other day!

So how's working in a cafe like? Not totally what I expected.

It's hectic, busy, and rather tiring. You got to be on the ball the whole time. Especially when it's lunch time.

My goodness, lunchtime is just madness.

But I kinda like it that way. I'd rather do this than sit in an office all day.

It's dynamic, you get screamed at when you don't do things right or too slow. You get smile, meet, and talk to many many people, and you get regular customers coming in almost everyday. More importantly, you sweat and work hard for the money, literally. You get to clean a gross kitchen and kitchenware. You cannot stop working or take a break until you've done what you're supposed to do and there's pressure to keep people happy.

Just the way I like it.

I missed out the most important thing. You get to eat really good and tasty good. And you get to drink and smell really nice coffee.

I've been asking myself this whole week, and so have my colleagues, why on earth did I decide to get into this industry?! I almost feel like a banglah worker ... pay's very low relatively, and I eat shit everyday.

I've found the answer at the end of the first work week. Cuz it's mirrors cycling.

On the bike, you eat shit. Most of the time. Just like working in the cafe.

On the bike, you get screamed at when you don't do your job well. Just like working in the cafe.

On the bike, you meet and talk to people from many different walks of life. Just like working in the cafe.

On the bike, you sweat and work hard to get results. Just like working in the cafe.

On the bike, you cannot stop pedalling until you've crossed the finish line or finish training. Just like working in the cafe.

On the bike, you train and race for about 5ish hours or so, not too long, just long enough that you can hang in there. Just like working in the cafe.

On the bike, there's pressure from yourself and other teammates cuz you've got a job to do. Just like working in the cafe.

But perhaps the best reason of all: On the bike, the end result - a win, just one, is worth all the hard work and shit - eating. Just like working in the cafe, when people enjoy the food/coffee and being there.

The feeling is just unexplainable.

It's really tiring though. I get to learn a couple of things like making coffee! Next on, to practice coffee making skills and move on to cooking and plating food. If the pay continues to be so low I might have to find an alternative source of income though. Actually no, I will start looking for another source of income soon. I really need my official graduation cert from RP ... Grrr ...

I've made up my mind that I need and DIE DIE MUST train in the morning before work. This week was rather sketchy because of ever - changing work times and not sure what or how long to expect to work for. From next week onwards, boss has said it's 12pm to 5pm. I will definitely have no time and no energy to train after work. So yes, train in the morning. RAIN OR SHINE. Better get my fat ass out and eat more shit.

I WILL BEAT MY ASS TODAY TO KICK YOURS TOMORROW.

I've finally understood what this means.

But oh Lord, I definitely need strength from above to get through!

The Injured speaks ...

2011-02-19T23:31:00.002+08:00

How was Tour de Langkawi?

It was quite a disappointing turn of events for me ... Getting dropped on the first stage on the first freaking KOM of the day, having to ride solo for the next 50km (barely made the time card - thank God still) ... Crashing early into the third stage and unable to continue the race after getting more comfy in the bunch and with the effort on the second stage ... Plus an injured ankle.

That being said, having such a disappointing start to the season allowed me to spend more time hanging out and talking to none other than our team manager/friend/mentor, Mr Daniel Loy! You always can't seem to sit down with him to have a good deep chat in Singapore because of the busy lives we all lead, especially him!! Those couple of nights spent talking, eating, and time spent in the car finding things ranging from good ol' uberfantastic chendol to laundry service were really profitable. It helped me to resolve the many issues I had within me for the past couple of months, inspired and motivated me to train despite whatever, and made me able to forget about the distracting past future, and just focus on the present.

I guess sometimes all we need is someone whom you trust and really knows what you're going through to talk to (you can bet that I am really thankful I have a few of such!) ... and then all these frustrations and distractions just disappear and all you're left with is renewed zeal and passion to just keep doing the things you have found mundane and uninteresting.

It's quite funny how stuff worked out:

In Dec last year, I prayed for a closer walk with God.

God's answer: He gave me so much frustrations, things to worry about, and a lousy form with a fast approaching race that I had no choice but to lean fully on God, commit every single tiny thing to Him and trust him totally.

In Jan, when I got dropped during stage 1, I prayed persistently that I'd be able to make the time cut and race the next day.

God's answer: He enabled me to barely make the time cut (I was just off by 30 sec!!), and taught me again that I must rely on Him and not on my own strengths. If I hadn't made the time cut, I might be very well be blaming God, and if I had made the time cut just 3 minutes before, I might have very well take pride in myself. God knows best.

In early Jan, I prayed for renewed passion and motivation to train and to put the fun back into cycling.

God's answer: He waited one month, allowed me to crash (yes i believe it was part of God's plan), injure my ankle which forced me off proper training ... till this day.

And so here I am, still nursing an injured ankle, and still not back to normal training for about 3 weeks. But because of this, I'm super duper motivated and miss training and racing like madd!!! Yepp God did answer my prayer, just in a different way than how I'd expect it to be.

My ankle is much better now, I don't think it's swelling anymore, and it's much less painful. Still taping my ankle whenever I ride outdoors, and tomorrow is probably going to be the first 2 hour ride I have done in 2 weeks. I hope the ankle holds up. I'd rather have a more conservative comeback to the sport and start slowly then to rush into it and end up injuring the ankle even more.

I think that's all that I wanted to say ...

Oh one last thing, I NEED TO FIND A JOB!!!!

Enough slacking around and time to get into a good routine and earn some money!

Tour de Langkawi!

2011-01-28T00:12:00.003+08:00

I haven't been able to post from my last post since because I have been really busy and tired with the things of life and from training. I did have a really nice training camp and a fulfilling one too, managed to climbed Cameron highlands and even did a lil' accidental extra cuz of some miscommunication. Penang road race was fun, although I couldn't do much except attack right from the gun, follow attacks, and relax once I got dropped on the climb. The 2 crits the next day was a whole load of pain, but a good pre - season race!

Fell sick right after training camp and had a very shaky week before Christmas and the New year. Didn't train as much and as hard as I'd have liked to for the next 1 - 1.5 weeks and it was a pretty shaky and lousy first training block of the season that I did. That really demoralised me a bit after just starting to have some semblance of form from a shaky 2 weeks of being muscularly injured.

Tried to pluck myself up and had to get my mind right by aiming for the Tour de Langkawi and Asian Cycling Champs 2011 ... with the big goal that the team would turn continental for 2011 in the back of my mind. Was constantly checking the uci website and hoping that we would get the license. But noo, we didn't and that again impacted my mind. No continental license for the team meant no start for the Tour de Langkawi, and by this time my mind was desparately trying to find something to aim for in the near future and make some sense as to why suffering so much on and off the bike was worth it. I also managed to complete my 2nd training block of the season, but I was suffering so much mentally (partly also from the lack of form) that I had to give myself and my mind a break else I was afraid I might burnout. It was a more mental thing really.

Turning 20 this year also suddenly made me realise how close I was to the age that I've always been telling people I'd love to get married at. I had this sudden pressure to earn money, start saving more money, and to be able to support myself first, before I can even think of supporting a wife and let alone a family. There was also this pressure to choose between studies or training ... which one to devote and go full on for. I wanted to be able to go full on in training, and train like a pro. But doing that would come at the expense of my studies ... and I felt that it wasn't really worth it ... because I started crunching some numbers and asked myself how much I could really earn as a full - time pro. That led to me questioning myself how high a sporting level I could go in professional cycling ... which led to me questioning whether I really had the talent for it, and if I did not, why the heck was I still trying to train so hard "knowing" that I'd never reach a high enough level that I'm satisfied with?! It was all bullshit and it really stressed me till it started affecting training and started making me sick and tired of the bike and of it all.

I decided to take a short break from life and training and went for a short trip to KL with shing the fat boy. Spend a good time just sleeping and relaxing ... walking around and eating roasted chestnuts while window shopping Chinatown. A cool 3 days but it didn't really help me to resolve most of my issues and frustrations though. Still unresolved.

On the afternoon that I got back from KL (returned early in the morning), my team manager called me and told me to pack my bags and bike and to be prepared to leave for Tour de Langkawi the next day. The best part was that I just came back from malaysia and I haven't been riding the past 3 days!! The only ride I had done so far for that week was a 3 hour ride. I was really happy yet slightly apprehensive about being able to race in the Tour de Langkawi though ... Really happy cuz it was my original goal and it's one of the biggest races in Asia, yet apprehensive because I had shit form and I'd no idea how I'd match up with teams from Europe and America as well!!

But yeah, we managed to race the Tour de Langkawi under the Singapore National Team!!! =D

*I wanted to type mych more but it's getting late and I'm really tired ... so TBA!

Training camp (Part one)

2010-12-15T17:13:00.000+08:00

I usually don't update people exactly when I'm going overseas till like either one week in advance or just a few days before, and that's because I usually only know when I'm exactly leaving not too long before the actual date itself. If you talk to me or hang out with me often, you'll be able to catch hints that I'm going overseas a few weeks before the actual date, or I'd tell you the rough schedule. It's because of this that I don't update pple in the church via prayer meetings or update pple who're not in the church because the week before I leave is usually quite hectic.

Besides, I don't really see the point in individually updating the people (unless I'm really free) because they are either not that close to me or I don't see them often enough to be able to update them. But it's okay, that's what accounts like twitter and facebook are for! To update those people who miss out!

Been away from home since last Sunday, because I've been staying over in church for YF camp. It was such a great thing that I stayed over because the fellowship you get is quite different than if you just attended the activities and leave straightaway. Got to talk to a few people and got closer to a few others. Hopefully this close bond stays on. I always tell myself that there're not many years in the YF (to lead) for me already and that it's the next generation of yfers that's gonna have to lead and build up the YF. The only thing I can really do is build up and nurture these potential leaders and hopefully help to guide them to become a better person and leader, not that I am a better person and leader, as well as impart some experience to them.

The problem I see with quite a lot of these young leaders is that they don't really have the know - hows and "common sense" in doing things. Basically, not enough experience of leadership and not enough examples to look up/model after. I just pray that I'd be able to fufil this need in the YF, even though I'm kind of like the only person left in the "previous yf". Of course there's James but that's a different and slightly more complicated story! I used to look up to people in the YF exco and learn from how they lead, the good and the bad. Apart from that, I really thank God that I've been having so many opportunities to lead in many school stuff since primary school, and especially so in secondary school. Many of the yfers do not have such opportunities, do not think with a more critical mind, or have too many theories and not enough practicality. Once we get these 3 right besides the always - important close walk with God, the YF leadership is heading towards good ground!

ANYWAY, I've side - tracked a little and we're now back to having not been home since last sunday. The biggest thing I miss most of home is my mum's cooking!! I haven't been really eating at home last month because I was going out quite a lot during off - season, and plus these 3 weeks of not staying at home to have my mum's cooking, you can imagine how bad the craving is! It's almost like not having my mum's cooking for 2 months!

I'll be back on the 23rd dec, just right before christmas and just nice before the year ends and another starts. I can't wait to go back because Amoz will be in Singapore and I'd love to spend more time with Fat Boy as well before he goes into NS next year.

Training camp has been quite good! I love how you can just train, eat, sleep, and prepare your mind for the new season. Ipoh is also a very nice and conducive place for training. It's all - you - can - ask - for - and - ride buffet! There're flats, many rolling routes, and a mountain to climb! What more can you ask for! You instantly have almost any kind of terrain here. Food is good and cheap too, not too much of a change from Singapore. Weather's nice and hot, or raining heavily. Best part is that we've got a corner terrace house for the whole team! Which beats staying in a hotel and you get to have fresh air coming into your room whenever you like!

We had our first ride of the camp yesterday, which was quite epic not only because of the rain and the wind ... but also because of we rode on the highway! It was a purely accidental mistake and we didn't really had a choice. It was either ride 35km or 70km more in the cold wet weather. Of course, highways are meant for things with a motor, and I'm saying this because we had to climb a mountain (or hill) ... 10km of climbing! Although it didn't feel like it was 10km, Daniel told me at the end of the ride that we climbed a mountain! I wouldn't doubt it either because of the scenery and there were clouds hugging the peaks. I had to stop right before the descend came though because my leg started acting up again.

As for today, we had a motorpacing session and it was hard. My body was quite shocked from the effort and speed espcially during the first effort but I just had to force it to go. I dropped halfway after the 3rd effort (2nd last effort) and that was all my body could handle for today. Rode the 4th effort with Tim, who'd a cramp during the previous effort, at a nice steady pace. Almost bonked towards the end of the ride but good thing I brought along a SIS bar!! Speaking of almosts, my mind actually went dizzy and a bit blurred out halfway during one of the efforts for at least a good 5 seconds! Haha. Jun Rong would be freaking out when he reads this.

I've been on my weight loss regimen which also means no going out for lunch for me! It's just either fruits (if it's a few hours before dinner) or just a teeny bit of muesli and milk (if it's lunch time after the ride) and I'm happy with the way I've been going at it. I feel hungry most of the time but that's a good sign. I just need to not feel too hungry otherwise I'll bonk straightaway when I start riding the next day. Yes I've experimented before.

We'll be climbing Cameron Highlands tomorrow I really hope and pray that my leg will get better and allow me to climb decently!!

Oh I forgot to mention, we have a washing machine in the apartment!! No need to hand - wash clothes!! =D

Problems

2010-11-30T21:24:00.000+08:00

Having problems just at the start of a new season doesn't help you much in terms of motivation, and certainly doesn't help you much in terms of your mood.

Problem 1: I left my pail in SSC outside one of the shower cubicles ... I completely forgot about it until I was halfway home on my bike. Hope nobody steals it and puts it somewhere in a corner. Or else I'll have to buy another pail =.=", waste money and very troublesome.

Problem 2: The powertap hub that I rushed Alex to help me lace up with another rim has to be unlaced and laced up back to the original rim ... and I was so looking forward to using it for tomorrow's intervals at least.

Problem 3: Since I can't use the powertap hub I've no choice but to fix up the SRM, which I wanted to not fix up on my current bike but wait till the new team bike is in. The big problem is that I've been reading forums and it seems like you can't fix the old wired SRM onto a BB86 frame ... which means if I can't fix it up tomorrow ... I won't be able to collect power during my intervals at faber tomorrow. So much for wanting to train even more scientifically this season.

Problem 4: The BIGGEST problem of all my problems now. My right knee is acting up again, this time the left side of the right knee hurts everytime I put pressure onto it, especially when pedalling hard. I really wanna do my intervals tomorrow and swing into training strong, and obviously not delay my season.

Usually, when I've any issues or problems that concern my life, I go out for a ride so that I'll be able to think clearly. But when I've problems with cycling ... there's really nothing much you can do except really lean on God.

Thank God for the little passage I put at the top of this blog that I must always lean on Him or fail.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil." - Proverbs 3:5-7

I always try to act smart and think that I know it all, that as long as I plan properly and follow that plan, all would be alright. Not the case, because without God, I can do nothing. And you can do nothing either. So let's just drop our arrogant act as if we know everything and are in control of everything, shut our smart arse and learn to lean on God for everything, in everything. There's nothing much you and I can do.

Amen.

Right I feel much better already.

Let's pick up where I left off!

2010-11-23T23:23:00.003+08:00

And so we shall!

I've been meaning to type at least one post at the start of my off season, but looks like I've been too lazy and slightly lack of time and energy to do so until now. Even now, I'm forcing myself to do so. Haha.

Right, so just a quick update on stuff:

1. Tour of Indonesia didn't go as well as I hoped it'd be. But it was a good reminder of how weak and frail we are. Just one sickness for one day and it puts you out of racing for a few days. And oh, thank God we escaped the volcano eruption. Good racing though, the more I go for higher level races the more confident I am in technical skills like cornering, hiding in the pack, fighting for position, knowing when to go to the front, and I can read races better this time round. We just need a strong team made up of strong individuals both physically and mentally and I'm sure we have no problem to get into breakaways and make the race. But right now I only see a few people in the team like that.

2. Tour of Indonesia ended in Bali, and it was really nice to have the start of my off season there! Got to eat big portions of food (till I was quite scared, can you imagine?!), although the quality of the food is not that good as Singapore's ... and I went SCUBA DIVING!! I just wished I was able to surf but that shall be reserved for another day when SERENE LEE teaches me how to! Hahaha. The only not so nice thing that happened in Bali was when HO JUN RONG PUKED ALL OVER THE ROOM the first day we were there ... I still can smell his maggi mee from here ... haha. Otherwise, Bali was just full of clubs, girls, and angmohs ... for the part that we were staying at least. Oh and magic mushrooms. Hahaha, I can't forget how so many pple kept asking QIQI whether he wants magic mushrooms and none of them asked me!!

3. My off season officially started on the 1st nov. It'll end on 26th nov, since 27th nov is the official team first ride!

4. Work has been steadily getting more slack the last few weeks, but I just had a discussion with my supervisor just now and I'm really happy he's giving me work and datelines to complete! I need to finish 3 SOPs and 1 lit review, of which I'm very happy becaue I know how this work would help SSI and the physiology lab and in the end benefit athletes like me who use the lab so very often. Plus everything I do is related to cycling or endurance sports in general, so it's not a chore or a bore! It's awesomeness!!

5. My mac has been giving problems recently, I think it's the battery ... I'm gonna send it back to Sapura to change it, thank God I've AppleCare! I was so keen on buying the new Macbook Air but after giving it much thought, I figured I'll stick with my current one till after Army. Esp since the main reason why I wanted a new Air was cuz it was so much portable when I bring it around for races. Save money to buy R6 better! =D

6. I've been going quite crazy thinking about getting a Class 2 bike. I actually went to research how much a first hand and second hand Yamaha R6 roughly costs. I guess I wouldn't be getting a liter bike cuz it's too ex and no point. At least a 600cc accelerates faster! That's what's important!! I can't wait to take my Class 2A license next year feb and then Class 2 next next year!! I knw it's seems like a long way to go till I actually buy a Class 2 bike but hey, no harm planning and saving up a lil' right? At least there's a goal! Plus after giving much consideration, I don't plan to upgrade my bike to a 2A one cuz I'll be in army for the next 2 - 3 years depending, and most of the time if I'm not in camp, I'll be out training. So yeah, small bike is still good cuz of fuel consumption and the ability to squeeze around haha.

7. I really think 2 wheels are my obsession, just like what Bev says.

8. I've been able to go for more church stuff and have more energy to mix around and talk to yfers from other churches. It has been a really really great month of fellowship, from the combined meeting with Pandan YF to the going out for meals with other yfers from the different churches. AWESOME!!!

9. Oh I've also been able to go out with my poly clique and qiqi! Just wished had more chances to go out with the clique!

10. I'm secretly a lil' afraid that I might not be able to get fit in time by Jan. But those are the doubts you get when you go out for a ride at the end of the off season and think about how you're supposed to be racing amongst asia's biggest teams and strong aussie, US, and european teams at the end of Jan. It's quite crazy cuz the difference in fitness now and then is soo great! Well time will tell. I always live by this motto: Just do your best and leave to God the rest!

11. Went for my NS medical checkup somewhere in the middle of the month. Pes D. Gotta go see a cardiologist in NUH in March next year to clear some issues with my heart =.=" So anyway, because of this, I'm guessing my enlistment date would prob be quite late next year ... which means I hope I'm able to push back the date to Dec and do SEA games. I really need and want to win a medal. I know I can. All I need to do is improve my bloody climbing!!!

12. I'm thinking of getting a powermeter. Actually no, I'm gonna get a powermeter and fix it up to a training wheel, hopefully when I start my season, which is in 3 days time. And I'm also thinking of getting another powertap to lace it up with my 303s so that I can collect data when racing. See how things go and how ex it costs. Money is always the biggest issue for me. Always.

13. Just for your info (things that I'm gonna be busy with):

Leadership retreat (25th - 27th Nov)
YF camp (6th - 11th Dec)
Team Training Camp (12th - 23rd Dec) - CAN'T WAIT!
EOY YF retreat (hopefully 30th Dec?)
Training (Obviously everyday from the 27th nov onwards!)
Prayer Meeting (every tuesday) - Hopefully I'd be able to cope cuz I wasn't the previous season
Talking to pple! (Most of the time? haha)

Alright, I think that's all for now. Looks like you might not get another post from me till the end of next month haha. We'll see!

Oh, and for more daily updates, please follow me on Twitter or Facebook! I've been updating through Twitter a lot, which explains the lack of posts here.

Breaking the Silence

2010-10-08T21:25:00.002+08:00

This place has been a world of silence and desolation ever since my off - day in August. Just to catch you up, I've been the whole of September training my guts out and started working in SSC as an intern in the middle of the month ...

Which brings us to the present time!

I've been working in SSC for 3 weeks already, and it has been very enjoyable and I adapted from holiday to work life rather quickly. Alright to be fair, it wasn't really a holiday and work life has been really really good because of my supervisor/coach/friend in SSC. I'm not supposed to shout it out loud but whispering softly, I get to train in the morning and go for races as long as I have proper documentation.

Many people think that it's unfair and that makes my work slack. I beg to differ. You'd rather be waking up at 8am and reporting to work at 830am, then knock off at 6pm or 5.30pm depending on the day, than to wake up early in the morning at 630am, head out for a 3 - 5hour ride and bust your ass off on the bike, then ride in all hungry and tired, shower, lunch, and work till around 630pm, and then ride back straight home ... OR ... do another hour of riding before heading home for dinner. All while feeling tired and usually quite sleepy, achy and sore all over. By the time you get home, you only have energy left to have your dinner and flop over the hard sofa, sometimes falling asleep on it and waking up after a few hours only to drag yourself to a proper bed and knockout on it. Day in day out. Except for Mondays of course where I just get to do gym. Haha.

Plus, when you report at 830am and end work at 6pm like normal people, lines are drawn very clearly and it is very clear cut of what you need to do. But once you start having people doing you favours you got to watch yourself real careful and make sure you show gratitude and not overstep "invisible" boundaries.

Still envy my life? I doubt so! I dare anyone who's not in my team of course, to take up such a life!

That being said, there's no way that I'd give in to have a normal office job! I'd always choose the latter over the former! It makes me feel alive, a job is no longer a job, it's something that you love doing and everything you do in work is just part and puzzle of your passion.

Throughout the past 3 weeks, the one thing that Frankie (my supervisor) said to me that stands out the most clearly in my mind now is: People say that they have passion, but look at where they are now after they stop riding the bike? Where's the passion gone to? What can they give back to the sport? What have they done to give back to the sport?

Cycling isn't just about riding your bike day in day out, aiming for a few big races, have lofty goals, following the coach's training programme to the letter, losing weight, pain, suffering. It's about how you understand your body, what you understand about the training your coach is giving you, why the coach is doing this, why certain things are done this way, how to explore into research issues that can benefit you ... And by understanding all that, you can see how you can give back to the sport when you've stopped riding.

You sure don't wanna be a rider who just stops riding professionally and then disappears into thin air. Where's the passion? Where's the fire? Bullshit. There was never a true passion, never a great fire burning. Passion keeps you wanting to find out more, how, what, why, when. Fire keeps you being aggressive in searching things out, in trying to understand things, in trying to give back to the sport and help bring it to the next level.

It's pretty much like life ain't it? No passion, no fire ... you're pretty much floating around. You just do things, day in day out, like some idiot because you don't know why you're even doing it.

There's no need to look far for people who have the passion, have the fire, for things. From the cycling perspective, Daniel Loy, Samuel Yang. These are people who have stopped riding competitively in some sense but now are contributing a lot back to the sport even though it doesn't benefit them a lot. It makes no sense to sacrifice so much unless you've the passion and fire for the sport. Then look at it from the Church perspective, people like Elder Boon, James, Paul Ferguson. There're so many other things that they can do and become great and famous people, but instead they choose to devote themselves to God and His work, in some tiny church in a puny country.

People nowadays lack passion, lack fire. There's no burning desire in their eyes to do something, no agressiveness to fight for something. They float around, following the world and it's norms, following society and it's "normal" paths. PSLE ... O levels ... A levels/Diploma ... Work ... Work ... Work ... Work ... and end up dead. Well in fact, they were already dead in the beginning. They just follow around, like zombies. Everyone's just so passive.

Where's that passion?! Where's that fire?!

We need that in Singapore Cycling. We need that in CTYF. People come, people go. Adequate people need to step up and continue on the passion and the fire. Keep fighting, keep the aggressiveness going. But no, I haven't seen anyone young in CTYF with the same fire in their eyes, who are not afriad of what people think, who are radical, who have an opinion, who voice out their opinions openly, who dare to fight for what's right.

Somehow, most people die off after trying for some time. They give up, throw in the towel, wave the white flag and say, I can't be bothered anymore. I am going to just mind my own business and lead my own life.

And just like that, they become followers, floaters. The once noisy voice becomes silent. The once fighter becomes a person lying in a grave.

What?! They aren't living their own lives? That's right, somebody leads their lives for them. They just follow that somebody. They choose, but based on social norms, based on invisible rules that govern the world.

We need the passion, we need the fire. We need to keep it going, keep it burning. Or else, we'll all just be dead and empty, following around, floating around.

Oh no! Bed time!

Boy, I sure do hope people read this post.

Off - Day

2010-08-20T19:17:00.002+08:00

I had an off - day on the bike today, and I ain't gonna lie to you, I was disappointed.

Naturally I guess, because I haven't really had an off - day ever since I started racing in Mid - May.

It's funny how your body works sometimes. Having an off - day can be quite hard to explain sometimes, like today. Your mind wants to go, your body doesn't feel super sore or really tired, but once you hop onto the bike and start doing some high intensity stuff, your body just shuts down completely. No matter how hard you try, push, suffer, your body just shuts down and can't sustain the effort, even though you know the watts are reasonable and you can definitely push out those watts for that period of time. The cadence doesn't hold, your legs feel empty and you pedalling's so not smooth, and you sweat like you're really doing hard efforts.

I don't like the feeling of how you feel like you've wasted a day on the bike when you were supposed to be doing that workout but you didn't do it because your body was unable to do it.

Perhaps it's the body's way of telling you that it has had enough and it needs to rest! That's why, I can't help but shun the feeling of disappointment aside and feel happy and motivated towards the next few blocks of training and racing, simply because an off day shows how lousy and weak your body still is. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

When your body needs the rest, it tells you. Your job as an athlete is to just hammer yourself day in day out with a proper training programme and to listen to your body conciously. Hopefully it will all pay off in the last few races of the year.

Tomorrow's gotta be a better day!

No more fooling around!

2010-07-13T23:40:00.003+08:00

Did my first interval session on the computrainer after a really really long time, like at least 2 months? And I think I absolutely nailed it! =D Though I fell asleep halfway while watching mythbusters and got only woken up an hour later when my mum came out from her room and shouted at me to go to the room to sleep! Hahaha, I'm absolutely fried from today's training ... just how I like it! =D

After the 2 weeks of rest I gave myself from the hard block of racing and just racing, I feel much stronger and fresher in the legs, very motivated again, and just can't wait to get back on the bike to train and ultimately race!

Aiming to get a top 5 placing in the tour of indonesia for at least one stage. That'd be the best way to end this season. Aside from that, I need to win at least one stage in the Tour of Bintan, and try as hard as possible to get a good position in the Tour of Delhi. So there you go, my goals in finer detail!

I believe it's possible, with the right kind of training, the right kind of tactics, the right kind of mental strength, and the right kind of craziness!

Feel so much stronger and I daresay my current form now is quite a huge leap from my form at the start of this year, even after taking it easy on the bike for the past 2 weeks. I'm sure my test results, which I just did on Monday, would confirm that. The only question is, how much stronger?

And so, it's time to get back to serious training and no time to fool around with the bike anymore!

Moving away from training and serious stuff, I had an awesome lunch (well at that timing it should be considered tea!) with Daniel on Monday before he flew off to France! I hope you bring back GOOD NEWS when you come back from there big bro! =P Hopefully we'd be able to do stuff like that more often, esp when he knows the good coffee and food places in singapore hahaha!!! Although that is a very big challenge because I'm busy with my own life and he's so much more busier than me with so many more things than his own life!!!

Today's TDF stage was sooo sadd!!! Hopefully Evans will be able to fight back the time that he lost today! Super duper tough, but then again, Cadel Evans is one tough guy!! Crazy mean always fighting machine!

I miss Qiqi and Tim!!

Something to look forward to! =D

2010-06-29T23:13:00.005+08:00

Just had a chat with Da Niaooo!

Gonna write it down before I forget:

August - Tour of Bintan and Tour of Delhi

October - Tour of Indonesia (10 stage tour, should be lots of climbing)

Alright, so here's what I think I'm gonna do for the rest of the year.

July - early August - Start doing base and getting in LT intervals done. Gymwork too. Focus on climbing as well (my climbing sucks so bad I'm so disgusted with it, YUCKS).

Late August to September - Hard block of training: Includes LT intervals and short really hard intervals. Still focus on climbing well.

To improve climbing: I shall do my climbing platter which includes telok blangah hill, mount faber steep side, mount faber easy side, and riding over more rolling terrain. Jud told me he trains his climbing at mount faber steep side, go slower so can crank up and train muscular power and endurance.

After Tour of Indonesia in October - Off season.

November & December - Solid blocks of base training

Somewhere early next year - Tour de Langkawi?

Before NS - If have at least a few months before going in -> Go overseas to train and race.

During NS - Need time off? Don't worry! Current carding status sufficient. Da Niao always helps.

That's the plan!

Now back to finishing up my FYP report! And looking forward to seeing mr QiQi and Tim come back!! =D

It all pays off!

2010-06-29T11:51:00.002+08:00

Months of training and struggling on the bike did pay off!

This whole 1 month plus block of racing is the best block of racing I had ever done. Although I didn't get good results, which was what I really wanted to achieve, I acheived something more than just results alone. Gained so much experience about racing, positioning in the bike, how to fight and squeeze your way through, when to attack, who to follow, when to eat. I've gained an even better understanding of my body and the habits that I do. Thrown away bad ones and took in new ones.

So what did I gain? Superd form (the best so far in fact), amazing experiences, and a wealth of knowledge to bicycle racing and training. Just from 4 races - Melaka Chief Minister's Cup, Jelajah Malaysia, Tour of Singkarak, Tour of East Java - made me very well prepared for National Championships. For the first time in my life I was not worried about what happened during a local big race and was very very calm and very confident in what I was doing. It definitely helped when you see the rest of your teammates trying as hard as you, all wanting to bag in the win for the team. I was very confident that I had the form and tactical knowledge to win the race.

So why didn't I win? I hold on to the belief that I would've won - as in become national champion, for sure, if it wasn't for the motorbike that just stopped beside the crash and blocked my way in bridging up to darren. The reason is because for the last few laps I was getting more rest than darren (he was forced to chase the breakaway), and I knew I was in better form than him. But that's the beauty of bike racing, it's not so simple to win a bike race and it is so unpredictable, which makes winning a bike race so crazy awesome!

That being said, I'm not bitter about getting fifth overall or 2nd singaporean, because I know I did my best and what happened was out of my control. Darren deserves this because he has always been so strong and yet people don't recognise it. Next year, next year.

Next races: Tour of Delhi, Tour of Bintan. (Both in August).

For now, a short break for me to recuperate and recharge. =D

Then I ATTACK!

Qiqi and Tim! Faster come back!!! Heh heh.

Oh my legs ...

2010-06-04T19:39:00.002+08:00

Legs Legs Legs ... They're feeling so stale and useless now.

Can't even keep up with the rest of the field on the climb. Something's seriously wrong with these legs.

I've been feeling very horrible during the past 2 stages. It's really easy to go all demoralised and give up hope, but I'm sticking to the more positive view and hoping and trying to make my legs come back to me ... just like during stage 2.

If this goes on I'll be a useless bum and just trying to survive through each stage. Which will make me feel even more like shit.

But hey, I feel better racing than dnf - ing.

Smile (: and hope and pray that my legs come back to me tomorrow.

And then, time to attack.

From Indonesia - Kota Padang!

2010-05-30T22:44:00.002+08:00

Heyy guys,

And so people I know are all over the world! Here's the list!

Tim and QiQi - France
Dinahsaur - France
Mozzie - Australia
The Leongs - All over Europe
Da Niao - Italy
Me and the some of the team - Indonesia

Can't wait to race!

And I need to finish my FYP report before this race ends!

MINDBLOWINGG!!!

2010-05-19T00:04:00.005+08:00

HOW ON EARTH CAN A SHOE BE SO COMFY YET SO STIFF AT THE SAME TIME?!

That was the very first thing that came to my mind when I slipped on my new pair of GAERNE'S and went for a 3 hour ride just now. It got me so amazed that I was thinking about it all the way for at least an hour while riding! No joke!

I've always been a fan of Shimano shoes because well, their top end stuff is always cheaper than the other brands' top end stuff, which makes it more value for money (or so I thought)! Plus I've always believed that well, asian riders should use asian brand, esp for shoes and clothing, since the brand will make it in asian cut. Sounds logical yeah?

Always wanted to try sidis cuz everyone says they're really comfy and what not. But the cutting just didn't suit me, too narrow. Until ... Daniel Loy brought in the new release Gaerne shoes and left it lying in the shop. I just couldn't resist to try it right ... soo tempting ... Haha. And so I tried it and to cut the long story short, I'm sponsored by them now!

Well half - sponsored by Gaerne, the other half sponsored by Daniel Loy, which means Passione!

I'd have never had the oppotunity to use shoes that are made in Italy because they are too expensive for me to afford them. Even the top - end model for Shimano leaves me and my dad's pocket a really big hole. So yes, thank you for the opportunity to taste what it is like in cycling shoe heaven! =D

What do I think of this shoe?

Gay.

Haha, not really. But it's quite ridiculously good, for my standard. I felt really weird the first half hour into my ride because I was just not used to having such a comfy shoe while cycling! Honestly! I thought there was something wrong with the fitting but I realised it was just the shoe. So yes, it's really super duper comfy! More comfortable than my pedro court shoes perhaps? Haha!

What else? STIFF! It's really nice when you're accelerating especially, because you can feel the stiffness of the sole even more. And the sole's quite thin btw! So yes, I'm still quite marvelled by it.

Light? I feel that it is lighter than the shimano shoe I switched from, the R240s. I don't know if it's light for a fact because I don't know the exact weight, but it feels lighter. Maybe it's cuz of the stiffness of the shoe playing tricks.

I think I need a few more days to get used to the shoe, it always feels weird the first day wearing a new shoe especially, because you're just so used to the old ones, including the negative stuff of it! Oh did I mention? The custom insoles from ssc makes the shoe even more enjoyable! Definitely played a part in the stiffness and how comfortable my feet felt in the shoes.

Now, time to indulge you with some pictures!

AWESOME!

Feelin' Good?

2010-05-17T10:49:00.002+08:00

I sure am! Feeling good on the bike, form's still holding up pretty nicely. Still feeling very fit! Yesterday's thomson ride felt rather easy ... even in the breakaway. Good sign.

My body's pretty tired from the past week of training, but it always is every single rest day. Feel like sleeping noww ....

Had a good dinner yesterday with Shingy, James, Yew Weng, and Mone. Really good bonding time especially for the exco. It's hard to find the exco as a whole so loose and relaxed because when we usually meet up it's with the adults. (I'm excluding James from the adults cat. for now haha)

Right, I also found out yesterday that I'm camp master for YF camp this year!! I still think they must've drugged me the last meeting before I said yes haha. Just kidding. It totally slipped my mind but ah wells, time for our first meeting!

On another note, I'm really excited to get my NEW GAERNE SHOES!!! Thanks to daniel and uhh Gaerne for sponsoring me! Sponsorhip is always a reminder for me to suck it up and just keep training hard and smart. Don't scared die! Will upload photos when I get the shoes.

Oh yes! I'm really excited and happy about going for Church camp this year. I didn't go last year and the feeling was horrible, and you'll feel a bit disconnected because you've missed out that extra quality time to bond with the rest of the yfers. Hoping to get to talk more with the yf in general and also to other specific people that I have in mind. I'll have to train though so I'm bringing my bike along with me to ride. Die die must ride! Just like how shing better die die must study!

Later!

Grandfather story

2010-05-05T21:44:00.003+08:00

Right, and so I just did a 3 week block of racing. Well not really, since I didn't really race in philippines. But I did manage to ride a hilly and tough 5 hour ride over there. I guess everything fell into place quite nicely, with the extra training time in philippines to improving my form just a little bit more. Felt really fit in malaysia, and my performance really showed how fit I was. Melaka was just amazing, I never marked or attacked so many times in a race before, neither have I ever stayed up in front for so long before. Best thing was, I wasn't feeling super duper tired after that!

Jelajah was even better. Brokeaway with 13 other riders and stayed away for most of the 200km stage, only to get dropped in the last 20km when they all started raining attacks! What would have been perfect was that if I managed to hang on and get top 20 at least. Kinda disappointed but yet very pleased with myself at the same time. But they were really going very fast!! I proved to myself and everyone watching me that I can breakaway even in a UCI 2.2 race where continental teams were racing in as well. I just need to be stronger and get fitter, but it's a really good first step and it just screams "See! Who says we can't do it!" Next step for me is to be able to last in the breakaway all the way till the end. And after that step is to be able to win from the breakaway. Lookout guys! I'm getting there! =D

I miss australia because the training I did there was so good. Australia really helped improved my climbing, tatics, learning how to hide from the wind, and hardiness. I wanna go back there to train!! Or maybe even better still go to Europe to train!!

I already miss just being able to eat, sleep, train, race. The more I train, race, and improve, the more I think I can make it to become a pro.

Qiqi you're right. I rmb what you said about how road cycling isn't just about how good your VO2max is, although it is an indicator of potential. It's true, because although my VO2max is really low compared to others, I think I stand a good chance winning people whose values are higher than mine. Especially after Jelajah.

My learning curve was really steep for the past few weeks. I gained so much just out of the 2 days in Melaka, not to mention during Jelajah Malaysia. I'm very happy about how much I've learnt.

Speaking of winning races from breakaways, Mark O'Brien from Letua won stage 5 (200km) of Jelajah from the breakaway. Ah Huat was commenting that he's really strong to be able to do that, and I rmb telling him that if by the time I was his age (23 - 24) and I wasn't winning like that, I think I might as well quit cycling professionally. Mate, in fact, I better do that by next year!!

I'm starting to know what kind of training I need in order to get very fit and peak for races (smth I learnt the past few weeks). Long, hard miles, combined with high intensity training like intervals. So qiqi and tim, now I can tell you! =D

My body's really really tired right now. I rode a super slow recovery ride today, slept almost 12 hours before that and sleeping through lots of alarms. I think I will take the rest of the week easy, probably pop by thomson ride, and then start higher intensity stuff next week to build up to the next few weeks of racing: The month of June, 3 races. Can't wait to try to breakaway again!

Alright I should stop typing now. This is getting kind of long.

I miss Qi Qi and Tim. Guys! I saw our photos on spin magazine today! Rmb the interview? I'll get my hands on one and keep to show you guys when you two get back!

I miss Plews. He and his funny antics but has really knowledgeable going on in his brain.

I miss Passione. Because they are moving to MOUNT FABER! Faster open leh!! I need to get stuff!! Haha.

I miss Bec, Faith, and Bev. Please meet up soon so that I can hear your crazy laughters and see you guys do crazy things.

Will miss Mozzie because he flies off to Aussie soon.

2010-04-23T09:53:00.002+08:00

I miss Qi Qi and Tim.

I miss David, Fiona, and Campbell Sup!

I miss riding together, doing crazy stuff and hard sessions as a full team.

I miss having Plews around.

I miss winning.

I really need and want to get good results for the 2 races coming up.

I'm in very good form. Want to prove to myself that I can race and kick some ass even at an elite level. Want to prove to others that this team is not just some dreamy disillusioned team with lousy guys but a fairly big budget. Want to make my sponsors happy. Want to honour those who have helped me and encouraged me in the sport by winning, esp daniel loy and the rest of the team including jiwen and dinah!

Want to make myself happy by killing myself while racing!

Want to get into the winning breakaways and do something.

Please don't let anything bad happen like in philippines!!!

Time to take a breather

2010-04-14T15:05:00.002+08:00

What a hectic past few weeks it has been!!

Meet - ups with amoz till he left for Europe, then meet - ups with Qi Qi till he leaves tonight for France! Other meet - ups with James and Ji En ... Going Justin's place and staying late. Meeting up with Fat boy ... Going for supper with Karen ...

Races for the past 2 weekends, hard training, nice taper ... Had a near perfect race on 4th April (After eating chilli crab and man tous and sleeping really late the previous night hahaha).

Going to sch for FYP ... still trying to finish up my research paper. Haven't been doing for the past few days, guess I gotta bring it with me overseas.

Trying to get the details for the races ...

Whoosing here and there with me motorbike ... Good thing I have it.

Very tired now. Spent the whole morning and the early afternoon getting my bike ready for racing. I'm supposed to go pack my bike and other stuff now, then go out for a haircut and buy whatever I need to buy for the time I'll be away, then go airport to send Qi Qi and Tim off to France! So yes, I need a nap badly to take a breather.

I can't wait to race! It's gonna be a real tough 3 weeks of racing ... but I can't wait!! I can't wait to race and prove to myself that I have improved as a rider and have what it takes to be up there and to win. I can't wait to race and get results to help in my carding status. I can't wait to race so that I can try and keep trying till I get into the breakaway, hopefully the winning one. I can't wait to race and punish myself and ultimately get stronger.

I feel very fit, and I can feel that my form's getting good.

Time to take it out on the roads of Philippines and Malaysia to test how true my feeling is.

P.S: On the downside, whenever I get busy with racing/focusing on races, my school friends start drifting away from my life ... Oooh lalalala aiyayayaya! Lem, we've got a problem!

Fatty, Oily, Fried, Junk ... FOOD

2010-03-26T22:22:00.003+08:00

Today was a punishment and a good reminder why I cannot and should not eat such stuff and stay away and run away from them whenever I see them.

The stomach pain was bad enough to affect my training and my whole body felt as if it got hit by a bomb.

And I hate it and get angry when my training is being affected. Esp by smth so trivial and stupid that I could've avoided!!!

Mmm ... Live to die another day.

A series of events

2010-03-19T22:20:00.002+08:00

Short post! Cuz I'm so tired.

Fell sick last week, it wasn't the fever kind of sick but it was bad enough to put you off training and forced me to relax my body and mind for a few days. Wasn't a bad thing actually. Feel more recharged and able to refocus on my next couple of races.

So now I tell myself I must train very hard and I'll kick myself in the ass if I cannot complete any training or lab session especially. It's all in the mind dude, it's all in the mind. But obviously there needs to be a balance with recovery as well, I ain't stupid!

This week past quite slowly yet fast and I'm just glad that it's over and I'm moving on to the next week. Going back to sch everyday for this week isn't a joke, and I was constantly cracking my head over my own schedule and the testing schedule.

Thank God for a motorbike. Can sleep more, go home faster, can take naps, accomplish more things within the same period of time.

And so monday and tuesday passed, had some crazy interval session on Wednesday: Think Philippe Gilbert when doing it! Thursday ...

OH Thursday! Was sooo sooo tired and wacked out from wed's training that I fell right back to sleep right after having breaky and before I could even get back to my room to change to get out on the bike. Thursday was cool, had BUFFET lunch with some of the team and yes lah, all considered team! =P THANKS DINAHSAUR FOR YOUR TREAT =D She is a rich girl and I am a poor boy.

Went back to the shop, got many many new kit! Had photoshoot ... and then was supposed to go out riding, but I fell asleep for 2 hours in the shop HAHA. Woke up, then went for a 2hour ride. I love the life. Eat, sleep, ride, do some work in sch, ride to shop, eat, sleep, ride, eat, sleep. MMMM ....

FRIDAY. TODAY. Had some emergency call from tim and had to go over to SIS (IN HOUGANG - PLEASE VISIT THEM =D) after sch to help them and ended up doing my interval training there. Legs are nice, sore, and achy now. Anyway it's a really nice place to be in for training or just chilling out. Nice atmosphere, awesome food, lovely hospitality. Reminded me and qiqi of the time when we were in Fiona's house in Aussie. I must say, SIS is a really good brand and has really good products, the best in my opinion so far. Go GOOGLE SIS (Science in Sport) lah!

Ended up staying there till 8pm, then home by 9pm. Dinner ... till now.

Long day tmr.

Now is SLEEP TIME.

First race of the season

2010-03-08T09:58:00.002+08:00

The reason why I haven't posted anything for an entire month is because this month has been a really busy month. Busy in the sense that I had quite a coupld of big things on my mind all the time, busy training and resting, busy trying to squeeze in whatever appointments I could make with people, and more significantly, busy focusing on the first race of the season.

OCBC Cycle Singapore has always been a race that the team has to perform, or really want to perform, because it's the only big race in Singapore and the only race in Singapore that gets so much publicity. Every single sponsor and every single future sponsor, and many Singaporeans, all look at the way the team performs in this race, and so it's key that we make the sponsors happy and more improtantly get results for the team and for ourselves. It's also where we prove the point that we're the strongest team in Singapore.

This year's race results are definitely a disappointment to me. The team was hoping to repeat the results of last year, except that this year's field was much stronger than last year's. Last year's race was a walk in the park compared to this year's. The team didn't even get podium finishes for any of the 2 races, and it's really disappointing expecially when I know that the both Daniels were expecting and hoping for us to get some good results.

That being said, I'm very happy with the way the team worked together during both races. We were defnitely riding more as a team, our tatics were much better, there was more communication, could feel the teamwork there. There was defnitely progress compared to last year.

On a more personal level, I wasn't as nervous or had that butterflies in the stomach feeling this year at all. I just felt very calm, relaxed, and focused, and maybe a bit playful, till I got on the bike, when the beast was unleashed. This is something that I was hoping to be able to do last year, cuz that's how the pros usually are. Look at people like Jens Voight, so cool and funny off the bike, but on the bike he really agressive and fierce.

BUT ... We still made tatical mistakes. And for that I'm gonna hit myself hard on the head.

1. No clear leader (not an excuse), but like what daniel said, in the pro ranks, everyone is clear cut, everyone listens to the leader and trusts in him completely, and every leader in every team has confidence to tell his mates what to do. Jun Rong! Have more confidence and next time don't scared just tell us what you're thinking so we can discuss and act on it!!

2. If I was in the front right at the start of the race, I would most probably be with Ah Huat in the breakaway and ease off some pressure on him. BUT life is not about ifs. The start was so crammed up and crowded that all I could manage to get up to was somewhere in the front middle - not good enough. During the neutralised start I tried my best to squeeze and push everyone out of the way to get right up to the first few bikes, only managed to get through to the first 20 bikes - still not good enough. Only at the climb where I naturally got to the front - but by then it was too late. If only right ... but it's like this.

3. WE SHOULD HAVE BLOODY CHASED DOWN THE BREAKAWAY!!! I didn't think a single thing about chasing the breakaway cuz ah huat was in it. My plan was actually for me and the other guys to tear the field apart and to tire them, and then get tim, jun rong or qi qi to bridge up to the break. The only guy in the team who managed to bridge up was jun rong, and after that I was trying to set up for tim and qiqi to be the next break and to bridge up ... but obviously the plan failed. Looking back, I think the race was too short for such a plan and we would have benefited more if we chased down the breakaway and lauch another attack. I'm hoping the race will be longer next year and with more climbs, cuz I'm very sure the team will excel in such a race, with everyone else suffering ... mmmm =D

I'm really happy Dan Loy took quite a big step back in instructing us what to do because it really helps the team to grow and learn and become more tatically smart and sharp. Dan Loy is an awesome person who really puts passion and dedication in helping the team, and the best part is when he does smth like that, he always has a reason behind what he is doing. Definintely someone I've been respecting since I first met him and the respect and admiration for him just keeps growing. Same goes for Dan Plews. The amount of effort these two put into the team is just crazily incredible.

Speaking of Dan Plews, I'm quite sad that he's leaving us for NZ. He's the best coach I've ever had not only because he has made me improved so much over one year, but he's a really funny and great guy and really understands us. Plus he answers my "weird" questions haha. I hope we'll be able to find a coach as good as or even better than him after he leaves us.

I'm really looking forward all my races this season: stage races ... I likeeee! Next race, tour of luzon or smth, in the phillipines. I can't wait to race again cuz I LOVE RACING!!! But before that I'll be giving myself a few hard knocks on the head and a hell load of pain and suffering. NICE! =D

I'm SOO IN LOVEEE

2010-02-08T22:10:00.006+08:00

with ... COOKING and RIDING MY BICYCLE! =D

I managed to spend some time cooking today finally! This is one thing I'm really looking forward to about the hols! Time to brush up and get more practice on my culinary skills! I just have this insane passion for food; cooking or eating! Just like how I've this insane passion to ride a bicycle!

Anyway, I cooked lunch today, and not just for myself! For my mama as well! Best thing was she said my chicken was really nice (she couldn't stop eating =P) and told my dad it was even better than what she usually cooks! So that in itself, plus the food, really made me happy like a jolly wirly jelly beany! Who says healthy food ain't delicious!

That's the best thing and beauty about cooking, good food never seizes to make the eater happy and all smiley, which in turn makes the cook happy and all smiley as well!

Let's see ... I still haven't baked bread yet, I'm gonna have to do it sometime soon during the hols.

I'm looking forward to the next couple of weeks of hard training - the short break I took really worked wonders, and then my first race of the season; OCBC Cycle Singapore! It's always extra motivation when your sponsor's the main sponsor for the event, and plus the fact that I'm putting quite a lot of pressure on myself to get good results from whatever races I'm gonna do for this season, I can't help but look forward to training like some dog for at least the next couple of weeks right?!

Oh and since it's the hols, I get much much more wonderful sleep! *smirks*

Back to the present, I've got to 3 more UTs and 1 tmr to study for now. And the ultimate test (the way I regard it), TP on Wednesday.

Hi Ho! Hi Ho! Hi Ho Hi Ho Hi Ho! Help me complete the song!

P.S: This post is dedicated to JiWen so that I can contribute a small part in entertaining him during his Doi training camp. Haha. Hope you're doing good over there buddy!

Tired but really refreshed!

2010-01-24T22:19:00.002+08:00

Ironic, but that's how I feel!

My legs are gone, and so is my whole body, from the cumulative fatigue from the past 2 weeks of training and school. I like this feeling, when you feel like you've pushed so hard till you max out and just can't go on anymore without getting some rest!

Rest day tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it! Motorbike practice early in the morning, massage just before lunch, airport time with mr jiwen low, then out with qi qi and da niao! It's so rare that I get to spend time with my teammates in singapore besides being on the bike! Probably gonna spend the rest of the day at home relaxing and sleeping ... and refocusing for the week's training!

I feel so refreshed from training this week because of the interval sessions I did. I love the feeling of intervals, how much it hurts during and after the session, how much you've to push yourself mentally, and best of all, when done right, how much it causes you to improve! It feels like enlightenment! Hahaha. I miss doing intervals and I miss group rides even more! Most of all, I miss miss racing. I want to attack people! Legs very itchy. =P

Cycling aside, there're many things on my mind like a business plan ... the yf ... some people ... school ...

And OH, TP! =D

My God is so great, so strong and so mighty,
there's nothing that He cannot do!

Rmb this song?

Distracted

2010-01-14T21:14:00.005+08:00

Mate, I've been getting really distracted and getting my mind all over the place!

I can't focus on anything. Sch, church, even training.

Forgetting to do sch assignments, absent - minded, always sleepy in sch.

I had to miss tonight's training session cuz I overslept my nap time. =/ Not good at all. Really really bad.

I've got too many things on my mind, worse thing is that everything's important!

4 more weeks ... I better do a damn good job in sch. Yet not let training suffer. And have my mind thinking abt YF. Oh yeah, there's my TP test too (please let me be able to make it). I've still my racing schedule for this season to worry about.

Looking forward to lab training tmr and the long weekend rides =D

REFOCUS. Something's wrong somewhere. Mind over matter.

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

- Phillipians 4:13

God help me. There's no other way.

2010-01-13T22:48:00.002+08:00

Had a really good chat with Mr Loy today ... and went down to Passione.

I haven't done those 2 things in a really long time, and I really miss it!

The more I think about this season's racing and training schedule, my short/mid - term goals, talk to Mr Loy, skip school for training/lab testing purposes, the more the thought of becoming a professional cyclist appeals to me, the more it get stuck in my head, the more I want to be one.

Rushing back down today to school for UT just confirms the thought that I'd rather be training my guts out. (not that I hate school but I just love training and racing)

Professional Cyclist or Coach/Physiologist. The BIG question.

2010-01-09T14:02:00.002+08:00

ABSOLUTELY GONE.

That's how I felt during today's ride, right now, and will for the rest of the day.

I just need my 10 hour sleep everyday ...

Because QI QI asked me to ...

2009-12-27T11:24:00.002+08:00

... UPDATE MY BLOG! Hahaha.

I just came back from a 3.5hour ride with some jumps in them. I'm absolutely beaten now and all I wanna do is to sleep, which I can't cuz I've got quite a few things to do. Today's ride was really nice and enjoyable, maybe cuz there were jumps in them, but also probably cuz Qi Qi joined us!

I was quite surprised I was able to out-jump the rest, especially towards the last few ones, partly cuz I'm not exactly known for a good burst of speed or explosive power. But there's still so much more to improve on in my finishing sprints or accelerations, and I hope I'd become much better in this aspect next season.

The past week has been rather busy, with leadership camp on from mon - wed, and christmas on friday ... it just screws up training and my normal diet, of which I'm not happy about! Falling sick last week didn't help either! Now that christmas is done and over with (not saying it's a bad thing, cuz at least I get a break and focus on other things!), I've been ever more so motivated to train hard. I can't help but start to have this dread for school, which starts in a week's time, cuz it's gonna screw up the whole schedule again. What to do, some things we just gotta give and take!

The being said, the leadership camp was just awesomely amazing. There was the spiritual aspect in the morning, and then the practical aspect in the afternoon. Sharing was simply amazing as well. Everyone really shared from deep down their hearts and everyone was just so open. This is one sharing that is definitely different and a step higher than all the normal yf/exco sharings I've been in.

I finally applied for my PDL (Provisional Driving License) yesterday, and started booking a couple of things! Most importantly, I booked my TP test!! 10 Feb 2010! Hopefully I'd be able to finish all the lessons and what not by then ... cuz I knw it's gonna be a really really hard thing to do with sch and training. Die die must finish arh! My plan is to wake up 4 plus 5 am to train, go sch, then motorbike lessons in the night. When there's a will there's a way!

Going for a massage and contrast bath tomorrrow! Oh how I miss getting a massage!! I've waited for tomorrow for more than 12 weeks!!

Alright, time to go do the stuff I'm supposed to complete, and then it's lunch and church till night!

Qi qi this post is for you! =D

Tired?

2009-12-21T00:46:00.001+08:00

Hell yeah. Super duper. I just fell asleep on the couch in the living room for an hour without even bathing or what not.

Update more when I've the energy to. Back to sleep.

2009-12-08T11:20:00.002+08:00

First and foremost ... Sorry guys for not updating for so long ... I've been so tired and busy here and there that there's never a time to update. Even if there was time I always just don't have the energy and will just sit in front of the tv/sleep/listen to music/stone. Nice!

School wears me out. Church wear me out. And training wears me out even more. And so, I'm so worned out from everything that when I reach home, all I want to do are those 4 things. My theory is that I'm almost touching this fine line called "too much is no good" and that's why I'm so fatigued, yet I still have just barely enough energy to do whatever that needs to be done because I still haven't crossed that line!

I've been trying to sleep more and earlier these past few weeks, which definitely has helped me in the next day's training. Somehow I'm so used and happy to be training straight after school or early in the morning before school that my body and mind just seems to be quite autonomous whenever I get on the bike. Reminds me of stage racing ... and I'm glad that it does because next year's gonna be a tough year for me and I've got some big goals for myself.

Speaking of goals, I am and have been putting much more stress on myself for this season, like making sure I stay at the right intensity, training at the specified time, eating right, becoming leaner, core exercises. There's one more stress I've yet to place on myself, and that is flexibility. I think I'm gonna have to come up with my own stretching programme and make sure I do it, cuz I'm really tight after all the riding done. The races next year are no joke and I wanna do well and get as many good results as I can get. I wanna get into as many breakaways that I can and stay away all the way to the finish. I want to be more aggressive and kill!

I am so ready to train my guts out!

Heh I went baking on Hari Raya Haji ... and the cake turned out pretty awesome compared to the last time! More details and pictures the next time! Something for you to look forward to! =P

Land of Sawatdi Krap

2009-11-19T23:36:00.002+08:00

Haha. I just got back from Thailand on Monday night. I like calling it Land of Sawatdi Krap, don't ask me why! I called it Land of Buddha at first, because Thailand is so into Buddhism. Haha.

Training camp was really great. Had a superb time chilling out and talking nonsense with the rest of the team, by that it includes Mr Low Ji Wen. It was just so cool how much joking we did, how much nonsensical stuff we did (like trying to take other people's baggage from the baggage belt and pretending it's ours! Or like our dinner conversations, which somehow always ends up along somewhere ... haha. Or like the retarded songs and things we do/say/sing when riding our bikes!). Yepp, we did lots of lame stuff. But all in all, I think the coolest thing is how much each of us have opened up to each other throughout perhaps the past year or 2? Come to think of it, there's no way all of us would have had so much fun on and off the bike together even 1 - 2 years ago, not only having fun, but even share stuff and talk about more sentimental things in our lives.

You can see that our topics are really extreme and cover almost everything under the sun. Haha! But aren't cyclists extreme people?!

Had an even more superb time training! Climbed Doi Suthep (Elephant Mountain!) a couple of times throughout the 3 days of training there, and had some nice hills to climb and some really nice pacework (the flower! the flower! Haha.) when the roads were flatter. I was really giving my all on the last day, my legs were so gone from the first 2 days, and all I had left was my "sane" mind powering my body. I know that I pushed really hard and gave my all every training session, because I can also see and feel my body improving from all the training stress ever since the season started after taking 2 days off the bike on monday and tuesday. Which comes to ...

I THINK MY HEART RATE IS ALMOST BACK TO NORMAL WHEN I WAS FIT!! =D
My heart rate is definitely lower now, and I hope it gets even lower! This is the first sign that my form is coming back.

Cycling aside, I was so so tired on tuesday because ... I don't know, Monday was a rest day, but I still felt so tired. I'm guessing it's because I had little sleep on monday night (7 hours instead of the 10 plus hours I get in thailand), and that the day's schedule was so different from what I had the past few days. It was really as though your body/mind has a switch and you just have to flick it and change your mind and body back to "reality". It's really draining on the body/mind, but what can you do except to try your best to do your best for the day. No excuses. I'm still trying to adapt back to the "normal life", hopefully I get back to "normal" by the end of this week.

I've got RTE the coming sat, hoping that I'll pass, and then I'll hope that I can get the 26/11 RTT, so that after that, I can take a RC and then 5.02, which will then leave me 3 more prac and theory lessons each before TP! Easy peasy lemon squeezy! My hands and legs are itching everyday to ride my own motorbike.

Btw, QT has been great. I've been doing QT on the train to sch and it's just awesome!

P.S: Training does get you thinking about emo stuff sometimes, after training I mean, it's a scientific fact btw! Can't let it get the better of me!

2009-11-10T19:00:00.001+08:00

I've came up with a new nutrition plan! AWESOME! =D

It goes like this:

School days

Big breakfast, small lunch, small snack before training, moderate dinner.

Non school days (like now =P)

Moderate breakfast, small snack before riding, ride through lunch, small snack after riding, moderate dinner.

Hope it'll work out much better than the previous one! This one looks good and makes more sense!

I had a great ride today, and today was the first day I used the non school day nutrition plan, because I didn't go school! Was so tired from the previous week and from not sleeping enough on Sunday and Monday that I decided to put a stop to my fatigue and make use of the exclusive LOA to sleep in and ride. That means that I can't go school tmr as well, because I'm supposed to be in thailand now.

For you dummies, I'm going thailand on the 12th early morning and coming back on the 16th night.

I had quite a productive day, here's what I did!

Woke up, ate breakfast, started planning for the yf's schedule 2010, snacked, went for a 3ish hour ride, did a really great ride (high constant power, good mileage, relatively good climbing), snacked, watched a bit of tv while stretching, continue to plan for yf schedule, NOW.

NOW IS DINNER TIME. =D

Ahhh .... the life of a professional ....

Nutrition

2009-11-06T22:50:00.001+08:00

My CURRENT NUTRITION PLAN is SO NOT WORKING!

I NEED TO COME OUT WITH A NEW ONE!

ON - Season

2009-11-04T12:32:00.002+08:00

It's ON - Season! Well I mean if there's such thing as an off - season, there's an on - season! Offcially started "structered training and back on my bike" yesterday, and it was a really good start. Hopefully it'll be a really good season as well.

Went really hard yesterday, broke away from the start, and managed to finish the ride 2nd. I was really going on my max yesterday, esp my heart. Hit 190bpm for the first time ever in my cycling life! Normally when I'm fit I don't even go above 175bpm.

Got to also focus on school as well as training and racing. Yesterday was a testament to how tiring school and training can be. I had to do quite a bit of school work after training, and only managed to sleep at 1am. Gonna go home today to take a short lil' nap before I train. There's some attachement thing that I'm supposed to go for next year, which I didn't want to, but I'm sure all things will work out for good eventually.

My racing schedule and training plan for the new season is almost out. It's really great that I can confirm all the big races and my training plan so soon, and it's really thanks to a great team and management behind it. It helps me to be able to train more scientifically and smarter, as well as focus much better since it's all so clear cut now. I'm quite eager to start the season but I also know I've got to take it easy for this week and let my mind slowly get back into the zone. I've got some big ambitions this year (as usual =P).

When I've officially confirmed my schedule and plans I'll post it up, but just to give you a little sneak peek for those peeping toms, I'm gonna go overseas quite a lot next year. Good or bad you decide!

On a side note, I can't wait to take RTT ... why must the stupid dates be so far apart. I intend to get my license by the end of this year, hopefully by mid-december. There's not much time after this year and I want as little distractions or things to do so that I can focus on cycling. Hoping to get a motorbike by the end of this year as well, which will make going out and life in general even more enjoyable than it is now!

Off-season

2009-10-21T21:23:00.002+08:00

And so I'm into halfway into week 3 of my off-season! FYI, my off-season started right after National Championships.

Things that I've done during the off-season:

1. Running. And injured myself a little after that =/
2. Swimming. Boy I love swimming! =D
3. Ate JUNK.
4. Ate MORE JUNK.
5. Ate MORE MORE JUNK.
6. Motorbike.
7. Motorbike.
8. Motorbike.
9. Sleep.
10. More sleep.
11. Went out a lot with Mozzie bro!
12. Went out with Girl's Sch Gang!
13. Stayovers! =D
14. Spent time missing my bike.
15. Forced myself to not think about my bike and the upcoming season.
16. Gained weight.
17. Gained fat mass.
18. Motorbike!

Right, I think that's about it ... SEE YOU!!!

Disappointments and Motivation

2009-10-04T19:02:00.002+08:00

And so today concludes a wonderful (or not so wonderful) day of racing.

No doubt that I'm extremely disappointed that I didn't win the Men's Junior race. Even coming 2nd feels like shit when you know you're much more powerful and fitter than any Men's Junior in the race. Of course, some people will die to be 2nd and standing on the podium, and like what Jiwen says, any medal is a good medal. But I still have this extreme disappointment in me that I didn't win. I had to come in Number 1, and I know my heart won't be satisfied with any other placing. I wanted to be Number 1. I wanted the National Junior Champion jersey. I wanted to win so that I could give everyone back what they've been giving me. I didn't. And that sucks real bad.

I try not to feel fed up over those Men's Sport people who kept marking me and chasing me everytime I brokeaway. I could have easily brokenaway solo from all the Juniors if it weren't for them, that's definite. And at the end of the race, it's not the strongest who wins, but the freshest. But that's racing, so many factors have to work together for a win to happen.

I wish I had enough power and fitness to just stay away even with the whole Men's Junior and Men's Sport peleton chasing me down. But if I was that good, I would be racing for a podium spot in Junior World Championships.

I wanted to finish the Men's Open race. I didn't. I could've, but it would be a long way down from the winner. Way down. The race committee had to tell me to stop 3 times at 3 different locations before I gave in to sense. I was already starting to cramp after 3 laps, but I just had to put my head down and suffer to work for the team. Only at the last 5 laps did my legs give way. I didn't have anything left in them. I know I definitely raced more than anyone else there today. I did 156km of racing. The longest race today was only 140km.

But so what, I wasn't strong enough to complete the 192km of racing I had in store for me today. I didn't get any good results today. I feel sore deep down in my heart. I wasn't fit enough, wasn't strong enough. If I was strong enough I would've at least have the legs to complete the Men's Open race. I wasn't.

I suck so bad, that I have so much motivation to train so much harder and smarter for the next season. I want and need to start winning and doing really well in almost all the races I go to. I want and need to up many cycling levels next season. I crave so so bad for improvements, for results, for success.

Today's race just proved how much more fitter and stronger I have to be in order to be the best Singapore rider.

I know that I'm going hard on myself, but I need to be.

On another note, I'm really really happy for Jiwen with his win today. I confess, I almost teared when he crossed the line first. He has been training really hard all these years, and today's win just proved how much you can achieve if you've the right training and dedication. He has to watch out for next year though, because I'm going to make sure I give him a hard time by then. =P

2009-09-28T00:00:00.002+08:00

CADEL WON CADEL EVANS WON CADEL EVANS WON!!!!

=DDD

(More updates to come soon!)

From Down Under (2)

2009-09-10T18:57:00.002+08:00

I went to melbourne yesterday night for dinner with my host's family as well as some of their friends! And where else to eat at besides eating at a CHINESE RESTAURANT!! We went to boxhill, this suburb in melbourne where there're lots of asians and asian food places! There was even an asian wet market there in the shopping centre and calvin and I just immediately went in to buy vegs and fruits(cuz they're both very ex in the supermarket in bannockburn), as well as ... TOHFU!!! Boy! I sure do miss tohfu a lot! Esp when my mum cooks all different variations of tohfu! Can't wait to be back home! =P

Back to the Chinese restaurant. We ordered many many dishes (simple soup included!) and they were all superb. All tasted and reminded me of home-cooked food!!! My goodness, I'm so excited now just thinking of it! Really miss miss miss home cooked food. I'm definitely going to try to go back to boxhill again to eat! Just thinking of tasty, chinese food makes me salivate!!

We went to their friend's place after dinner, which are now our friends as well. Tom and Eric were really friendly. Tom spent 20 years living in Singapore, and Eric's from Singapore. We had a really good time talking and stuff, especially when I was speaking to Eric cuz he has a super strong singaporean accent. Quite happy to hear the Singapore accent again! Really, when you're overseas in a non-asian country, even small stuff like this helps to lift up your mood and feel more comfortable. Had really great ice-cream with lots of different kinds of berries! And I mean the really good quality, juicy ones! It was just great and I really had a great night yesterday. Enjoyed it very very much!!! AHH can't stop thinking about food!!

Okay snap of it!

Went around to explore more of bannockburn today and we found this FRESH VEG&FRUITS store, butcher store, and a BAKERY!!! We finally found cheaper veggies in bannockburn! And the bakery was simply awesome! At least now calvin and I are able to afford most of the leafy veggies which is really great cuz we've been only eating broccoli the past week since it's the cheapest here. AND, I got to buy LOVELY GRAPES AND PINEAPPLES as well!! Which is really really awesome cuz they're both my really really favourite fruits and they both remind me of home!! Now I just need to find cheap bananas ...

And of course, I had to control my excitement when I walked into the fresh veg&fruit store as well as the bakery so as to not buy both shops down! Looking forward to the next time we go shopping for veggies and fruits, but we've got to finish the fresh veg that we bought from boxhill last evening first, which is never a problem! =P

Speaking of bakeries, did I mention that bread here is really nice? Even the normal bread you find in the supermarkets, they've much more quantity than singapore in one loaf, they're much nicer, they've got all the funny grains in them, and they're really nice! Oh I mentioned that alrdy. If you go into any of their cafes, their burgers, sandwhiches, are extremely awesome with more filling than 2 Singapore sandwhiches! Their quite ex though ... but it's quite fair at least. Rather than Singapore ... pay so much for so little! And woah, the bakeries are just heavenly! So yepp, Alvin working in a bakery is awesome! Haha.

Oh did I tell you honey is relatively cheap here compared to Singapore and it's really really great?! NICEE!!!

Okay so much for food, I'm already looking forward to cooking my next meal ... AND having my next meal, BREAKFAST! =D

I did intervals today, 8x4mins, and I felt quite good as I was doing them. I'm thinking of doing another set of intervals tomorrow, have an easy spin on sat, then racing on sunday. Hopefully my form starts improving soon and in time for National Championships ... which is going to on the 4th of October, 2 days after I land back home! A lot of pressure on me to win the Junior race, and as the days go by I'm feeling more and more motivated to ride my bike, which is a good sign. BUT, I'm still enjoying myself here! Indulging in sleep and food! =D

I miss home, the yf, church, good friends. And I try not to think about you.

I've been having lots of dreams and maybe some nightmares as well. It's a bad sign cuz I usually don't get them. Woke up a few times last night sweating, can you imagine?! Hope it doesn't happen again tonight.

So that's all for now I guess! Shing you got what you want! And thanks shing and jh for commenting! Apparently even though it's illegal to shoot down kangaroos here people still do ... so hmm ... =P

From Down Under! (1)

2009-09-05T19:49:00.002+08:00

Hello Mates!

Hmm where shall I start ... there were many things that happened the moment we landed in Australia!

We got stopped by customs and spent like 20 minutes being questioned by the customs officer. He thought that we were coming here to work and get money because we did not know exactly where we were staying (which we really didn't!), and we brought so little money with us! The problem was settled obviously cuz the officer called up our friend, who promised that he'll take care of us and will settle our lodging and what not.

We're staying in Geelong, not Melbourne.

Geelong is a crazy place, where it's like 4 seasons in every few hours.

Usually it's really cold here. Then sometimes the sun shines so bright that it feels hot(comparatively). Sometimes it rains, stops, rains heavily, stops. Oh did I mention? It's really windy here. And it's not the breeze you get in Singapore, in fact, comparatively, Singapore is not windy at all!!! Even when there's a heavy thunderstorm. I kid you not. The wind here is really crazy and it makes us go like snails, and ride like crabs. Plus it's cold. Numbs everything, esp my ears, hands, feet. Plus it rains. Triple whammy!

We're getting used to the weather now though. I'm a little underdressed for the weather though =S, but I'm surviving just fine in temperatures that are like from 6 - 18 degrees celsius.

David's a really good man. We've now a list of maps and routes as to where to ride done up by him. I'm definitely going to put them into good use. We're also staying at his place the whole month, and puts up with our mess and all!

He has got this son named Campbell! Makes life here much more interesting and less boring. Oh, did I mention that sometimes it gets quite boring here? Calvin and I taught him how to read, and we've been playing with him since he came. He only comes on Friday evenings and stays still Sat evenings.

Meals here have been nice, although it's obviously not as nice as my mum's cooking(I MISS IT!!). Food here is really ex, actually everything here is really ex ... so I've no idea how I'm going to survive with so little money. DONATIONS ANYONE? =P

I've fully recovered from my stomach flu, and I'm hoping to get stronger day to day. Now that my little break has finally ended, it's time to get my head back into the zone and train hard.

Speaking of which, I had my first race today. It went quite bad, because I was simply not as strong as the others. The standard here is really high and it's very very far from Singapore, but that's why I come here ain't it? Now that I've seen their standard I hope to be able to train to that level or at least somewhat near, since I've only 3 weeks now.

Lots of racing, lots of training. Makes Lem a strong boy!

Sometimes in the middle of the night or in the middle of the day when my mind wanders and thinks ... I think about you. I thought by going to Aussie it will help me forget about you temporarily compared to Singapore but looks like it makes me think more about you. Hopefully hard training changes things.

Tomorrow we're gonna go Great Ocean Road to ride. We found a nice route with wind, climbs, and descends there. 180km.

Haven't found a church here in Geelong yet, but I'll ask David's wife tomorrow. She goes to church too, but the problem is that I stay in Bannockburn, and she stays in the town of Geelong. We'll have to see how things go.

Hope tomorrow's gonna be a great day!

Time to turn in! More updates soon!

2-wheel love!

2009-08-27T23:55:00.001+08:00

Road bike. Mountain bike. Motorbike.

What more could I have asked for these past few days!! (I knw what, but that's out of point!)

I've been on 2 wheels practically the whole day except when in bed!!

Good news:

I think I've fallen in love with bicycles and motorbikes once again, even more deeply! As long as it's 2 wheels, I'm up for it!! FUN!

AWESOMMEE!! =D

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I got a call few days back from RP. Apparently my sch has this scholarship programme that pple can sign up for and try to enter for it. I didn't know abt it obviously.

So anyway it seems like the sch thought I stood a very good chance to get into it so they registered me into it and called me to tell me I was scheduled for an interview next tuesday =.=

Funny how when you try your best in what you do, you need not worry so much abt results and such stuff like this scholarship thing.

Thank God anyway =D

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I'm going to be away in Australia for one month. Leaving next wednesday.

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Oh yeah, for those who are really slow, Karen broke up with me last thursday.

Nice? Nice!

I never thought I'd be one of those to say this, but now I've an EX-girlfriend.

P.S: Frankly speaking, I still don't really knw exactly why she broke up with me. I didn't get to recover from the shock I was experiencing before everything ended. Don't blame me! I just came back from the BIGGEST race of my life at that point in time.

Now it's just back to me and my bicycle(s)!

2009-08-22T21:38:00.001+08:00

The heart is very very very pain.

Even after numbing it.

Tweet tweet

2009-08-20T11:26:00.002+08:00

Feeling very tired and a tad unmotivated to ride my road bike, let alone do intervals.

Tuesday was the first time I rode so hard on the bike that I didn't feel like eating anything at all the rest of the day.

A bit disappointed that I wasn't even top 5 ... But now I knw my main weaknesses and I'm gonna work on them to become a much stronger rider next season, as an elite. The goal is simple as before: Win. 1st place. Nothing else.

Asian Cycling Championships, U23 Paris - Roubaix.

But first, I need a good break and take my mind of things. And I need to study for UTs.

Turning to another form of adreanaline, blood-pumping, rush.

Mountain biking and motorbiking.

Can't wait =D

2009-08-07T22:40:00.001+08:00

Asian Cycling Championships 2009

Nothing else.

Must win.

Total domination.

Go hard or go home.

Make 'em suffer.

WIN.

2009-08-01T12:20:00.001+08:00

I wanted to post something before I left for Malaysia 2 weeks ago. Never got to it cuz I was so busy and tired.

So anyway I'm back. Not a really good trip like what I hoped for, and it wasn't like what I expected even after taking into consideration that I just recovered from falling sick the day before. But it was good learning, good experience. A bit demoralising and disappointing during the first half of the races I raced, but thank God for people who I could talk to, ask questions, believed in me. And true enough, like what jiwen and daniel said, after the first half of the races I started to feel my form coming back, felt much stronger on the bike, could attack people ... and now I'm sure that I'm back to the form I had before I fell ill ... or maybe even better cuz I feel stronger.

It was a good hard block of racing, and resting. I feel much less fatigued now, more motivated, and I'm looking forward to the last hard block of training before going to ACC to attack people and win both events!

A classic example of the Training principle of Overload, Recovery, Overcompensation. Nice!! =D

P.S: Had a good reminder from God that without Him, I am nothing.

Fatigue

2009-07-11T12:44:00.001+08:00

I'm so tired of everything, from everything.

I just wanna concuss and sleep.

On my mind

2009-07-05T22:57:00.001+08:00

Why Why Tell Me Why ...

How How Tell Me How ...

Sad. Torturous. Sian Diao ....

Always like that one ...

2009-06-27T21:47:00.001+08:00

I had this really good feeling in YF today. I felt welcomed and missed by people, which is quite unexpected when you don't go for church camp and skip a weekend of church. I thought I'd be sort of forgotten or something, apparently not.

I got to talk and interact more with the younger ones, even though sometimes we talked nonsense and joked around.

Somehow, even though I'm so busy and tired with training and racing, I always have this burden for the YF, esp for those younger than me (anyway not many people are older than me in yf!). It feels good to take the time and effort to go to YF, knowing that you've got friends there who're willing to talk/laugh/be retarded with anytime you're back. It feels even better to take the time and effort to go to YF, knowing that these friends are of the same faith, and even though our lives may be worlds apart, we really aren't that different.

And just so you know, the older ones also made my day. It's not just the younger ones.

See! Going to Yf is such a lovable thing! It's this feeling that I've sort of lost over the past weeks or maybe months.

Side track a little, I never liked canoeing/dragonboat/kayaking cuz I think the training they do is really dumb. There's not a single sports science logic/concept in there. Whatever they preach/do, it's quite nonsense sometimes (and sometimes they don't even explain why). They train hard, but don't train smart. That's real dumb. Maybe next time I could become a canoeing coach and revolutionise the way they train, then make the team get super good results, then write a book =P

Anyway, 8 July is coming REAL SOON!! Motorbike license, here I come!!! =D

P.S: I'm quite surprised I'm like that because I rode 5 hours plus this morning - afternoon and I'm super duper tired. I love cycling. I love my gf (:

Variability

2009-06-17T23:40:00.002+08:00

Because someone asked for variability ... he has it! Actually a lot of pple complain, haha.

I've been staying at home alone for the past 3 days. The whole fam's at batam, yupp including my sister.

But anyway, I haven't been home much either. All I do is cook, do the laundry, watch tv, surf the net, sleep.

Cooking has been quite fun! And quite delicious! It's a good thing I have this love for food, otherwise I'd most probably just go out and dapao stuff, which is sometimes quite impossible considering the time I come home from training. Been trying out various stuff and I realised from the past dinners that the meals I cook always the past few nights look like junk whenever I put them on a plate to eat because the quantity is huge! But it tastes much better than junk for sure!

Somehow, I feel like I'm overseas living by myself. It's a good thing. I guess I need to get accustomed to living alone, doing chores, cooking for myself, the loneliness, especially when I wanna become a pro athlete. I like the life though, wake up, train, eat, nap, train, eat, sleep. The only thing I don't like is the loneliness, but no going to that part.

In fact, I feel like I'm sort of living life like a pro cyclist now except for the fact that I go to school, which takes up most of the day. Training takes up the other most of the day ... so you can imagine how much time I spend at home alone.

Anyway, I kind of miss church camp ... for the few simple reasons like being able to fellowship with the younger yfers, being able to catch up with the older ones, being able to not care about training for a few days, able to listen to messages everyday, spending time with the closer ones, spending time with her.

The thing about blogs is, that once you start typing a new post, emotions tend to flow out quite quickly. Don't really like it because if you're not careful you'll start typing out your negative emotions.

I won't talk about missing people.

It's quite a random post I know. I'm really tired.

2009-06-13T14:55:00.001+08:00

I daresay the Cannondale SuperSix Hi-Mod 09 is the best bike I've ridden by far.

Definitely one of the best top-end bikes on the market! If you've the money you should get it!

Beats the Ridley Noah the more I ride the SuperSix.

I just need my legs to be worthy enough to ride on the SuperSix.

On a side note, I wish more people would ride "race" rides ... that way, I can attack more people! Or more people attack me! Whichever way, I still improve!

2009-06-10T00:14:00.000+08:00

I can't help but feel like a little boy again!

A little boy who's gonna get his first bike in his life and let it rip on the roads as soon as he gets on it!

Wheeeeee =D I like feeling like a little boy, like nothing else matters in this world as long as he gets to ride a bike!!!

2009-06-03T13:54:00.001+08:00

TOTAL DOMINATION.

I want to win Asian Cycling Champiionships 2009. Both events. I want to dominate the competition. I want to dominate everyone.

I will.

Pain is nothing. Suffering is Pleasure.

I want to be The Killer. The Aggressor. The Guy who everyone pleads not to attack.

And because of this, Sacrifice is smth I've to live with for now.

I'm not Normal. I'm Mad.

Random bits in my head

2009-05-15T14:47:00.002+08:00

I'm tired. Really tired.

My body has been really stiff. Stretching only helps a little.

I need to get massages.

Every single day I try to get into the zone to be able to train properly. And so far I've succeeded everyday.

I struggle to walk, to school, in school, from school.

I've been sleeping really well every night though (:

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Mistakes that I made during the Tour:

1. I freewheeled and didn't join back the main peloton immediately after I pulled a crazy pace after hitting the mountain climb.

2. I forgot to "test water" in the last 20km when I was in the breakaway.

I'm just writing it down so that I can get it deep into my head so that I won't repeat these mistakes again.

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Samuel says I've a very good build for a climber.

The only reason why I'm not, he says, is because of what I think in my head.

I need to improve on my time-trialing. Which will improve my climbing naturally.

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I love my gf ((:

2009-05-09T23:17:00.001+08:00

It's hard to not compare.

Sometimes.

Thailand!

2009-04-28T23:06:00.001+08:00

And so I'm leaving to thailand on thursday afternoon, 1.5 more days.

But it's really sad that I can't even get to see my gf one last time before I leave )):

Oh well, that's life.

It's like this.

ACADEMIC ROLL OF HONOUR

2009-04-17T00:12:00.001+08:00

COOL!! I just realise I made it into the Academic Roll Of Honour for the previous Sem 2!!!

Which means ... top 5% of the whole cohort!!

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

=D

SCHOOL!!!

2009-04-16T23:31:00.002+08:00

And so school's starting next week, after a really long holiday! =D

But unlike most people, I'm actually quite excited that school's starting! And going back to school today made the excitement grow quite a bit!

And the reasons are as follows! :

1. FOOD

The food is really a big factor that makes me go school everyday!! =P

2. NEW MODULES

Finally! I get to take modules that is related to me and what I'm passionate about!! It defintely makes me wanna go school to learn new things!

3. FRIENDS

My awesome friends will be in school! And I've loads of catching up to do! And talking and laughing to do! =D

4. BIKE

And I don't just mean my bike with human motor! I think I'll start riding to school even more regularly, and training in school as well, which saves time! And riding my bike to school beats walking the same old path everyday with loads of people anytime!

Plus, it'll be even more awesome once I get my motorbike and start riding to school!!! Imagine the amount of time I can save!

5. SCHOOL SCHEDULE

The new schedule dictates that school starts at 9.15am (15min later that last year), and ends at 3.45pm (45min earlier than last year!) Shiok!!! Means can train earlier, go home faster! And also means can go out after school earlier on rest days... *hint hint =P*

I guess those are the 5 major reasons! I'm not going to type down what are the reasons that makes me not wanna go school cuz that's just plain dumb! They're all so minor ... and must be optimistic! =D

On another note, I finally figured out why I detest the new 9pm channel 8 show (the ping pong show). I find it plain dumb. If those ping pong players are really passionate about their sport, then they shouldn't keep whining and complaining about how tiring or painful it is. And if the show isn't supposed to show people who are passionate about table tennis and wanna win their matches, it's quite useless to watch it isn't it? What a watse of time!!! It's totally an insult to athletes of all levels!

Here's just a sneak peek of the latest equipment I got from SSC! ((:

The BIG things on my mind currently ... (not in order of importance)

2009-04-07T15:25:00.001+08:00

Tour of Egat 2009

Asian Cycling Championships 2009

Spiritual Growth

My GF((:

CTYF newsletter

Church Camp 2009

2009-03-23T22:36:00.003+08:00

S-T-R-U-G-G-L-E

Nuah Nuah

2009-03-09T20:54:00.002+08:00

Exactly one month from the last post! =P

Didn't really want to post anything up for the past month cuz I really liked the post. And also didn't really had much to say ...

Anyway, today's such a nuah nuah day ... The rain, the masssage, the stretches, the company ... Feel so chilled out and ready for the week to come.

Nuah nuah =D

Just do it.

2009-02-09T13:18:00.001+08:00

"You should feel exhausted, that's the
reality of wanting to be good at an endurance sport."

-Daniel Plews

"That's the reality, you have to believe
in what you are doing."

-Daniel Plews

Excerpts from the email my coach replied when I asked if my training plan was very tough for my age, esp since I felt really really exhausted this week.

I'm going to not give a shit about anything else and just give more than 110% each training session.

No more excuses like tiredness, not enough sleep, too young.

I just have to do it.

Just do it.

=D

2009-02-07T17:26:00.001+08:00

I feel so blessed to have you here now (:

2009-02-04T23:45:00.001+08:00

Ahh DAMNIT.

I had this thought earlier in the day while training: Maybe I should just crash and get hospitalised. At least people will come and visit me. At least you'd be beside me.

F**K this shit. I'm sick and tired of it.

Really, F**K it.

Pain

2009-02-03T20:59:00.001+08:00

People say: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

I say: True. But that's if you can endure the full pain.

I hope I can, cuz it's really killing me. Heck, it even makes the hardest intervals seem so easy.

2009-02-02T06:55:00.000+08:00

I'm dying!! It's killing me!!!

2009-02-02T06:54:00.000+08:00

I'm dyingg!! It's killing me!!!

Sacrifice

2009-01-28T20:49:00.001+08:00

It gets really frustrating and heartwrenching when you have to sacrifice some things for training sometimes. Or most of the time.

2009-01-25T11:22:00.000+08:00

I actually slept 11 hours on a sunday today!

My body must've been really really tired from all that interval training ...

2009-01-17T11:40:00.000+08:00

I'm so disappointed with myself.

Charismatics

2009-01-12T23:09:00.001+08:00

I just came home from a meeting where there was this charismatic preacher who was sharing.

And to sum it all up, whatever he said, were words of men. Nothing he said was based on God's word.

Sure, he did read the bible, put in a few words like "Jesus, God" at the end, but even with that, he didn't base it on God's word.

The funniest part was when he was talking about assurances, and when he was mentioning about the most impt assurance we must have in our lives, he said ... Men! I was shocked! Stunned! In my mind the word God naturally came out, but that did not happen for the preacher I guess.

Anyone also can go up and speak like that!

I feel very sad.

Really thank God for the church I grew up in.

2009-01-11T11:39:00.001+08:00

I love racing!

I love everything that has to do with cycling!

=D

Shit Happens

2009-01-02T13:16:00.000+08:00

Cycling may be the toughest sport in the world.

Not because of the crazy mountain climbs, crazy descends, crazy speeds on flats and sprints.

But because you're exposed to the elements. Not thunderstorms, scorching sun, freezing cold.

You're exposed to something very disgusting: BIRD SHIT.

And that's what happened to me today while training. Out of nowhere came this huge blob of BIRD SHIT and landed on my left quad!!! And I don't mean the tiny ones you see on hawker centre tables. I mean a really really HUGE one!!! I think it had the same virus as shing and my bro cuz the shit was really really like plakkkk, THICK. I think the bird got diarrhea arh!!

I can now be one of those who claim, SHIT HAPPENS.

P.S: Come to think of it, maybe it was lizard shit. But it's still damn gross whatever it is!

The last night of 2008

2008-12-31T23:54:00.001+08:00

Tonight was one of the worser (if not worst) nights in 2008.

1. Watchnight service was so messy that I barely had time to sit down to think and reflect.

2. Everything was so rushed tonight that I could barely talk to people.

3. I went home alone.

And even till now, everything feels so unsettled. Like I've many stuff to say to a few people (even stuff like goodnight or goodbye), but I just didn't do it tonight. I couldn't.

I'm going to sleep. Or actually, talk to my Father in Heaven first.

Mirror mirror on the wall 2008

2008-12-29T08:43:00.000+08:00

Lalala. I'm back, still black. Back in black! haha.

I initially don't really feel like posting anything actually. Well maybe cuz I'm not really the blogging kind of guy, unless I wanna tell something to someone indirectly, or show someone what I'm feeling at that moment in time.

But me thinks it's good to blog now cuz it's almost the end of the year, and me is hasn't shared what the mirror has reflected back to me for 2008.

Me thinks it's only fair to God if I share it with everyone, because me thinks God has been so good to me this year that me thinks I must tell everyone about it! Me thinks me will be really stupid if I don't share and me thinks it wouldn't be glorifying God. Me didn't share during remembrance night cuz I really wanted others to share first, and I didn't attend the 2nd half of sharing.

Me aside,

I think if there's one or two words that can sum up my 2008, it'll be "God's grace" or "Joy". God has been really good to me this year, not just in terms of protecting my life, but also leading and guiding me through everyday. Somehow I'm able to say that God has been there guiding me almost every single moment in year 2008 (except when I sin of course). And it's because of this, that I actually feel at peac most of the time. It's because of this that I can say that I have joy, that I love doing what I did.

There's so many things to talk about with regards to how God has been so good to me. And i'm not saying that for the sake of saying. There are times when everyone just seem so flustered and bothered but I'm still able to laugh, smile, and say "Go with the flow". I'm sure most of you have heard me say that to you at least once or twice, and I really mean go with the flow! And what do I mean by that? Whenever I say "Go with the flow", I don't mean that you just sit back/don't care and just ride along with how the situation goes. That's really stupid.

When I say go with the flow, I mean do the things that have the greatest urgency first. After that, then do the rest of the things you are supposed to do. And when you do the urgent things, don't just chiong all the way and give some shit work. When I say go with the flow, I mean do the most urgent things to the best of your ability, and after that do the rest with the best of your ability too. See the difference? As what Karen will put it sometimes, your effort should be ttm! If not, don't bother doing at all. And I'm not saying it as a philosophy or something. God demands our 100% effort, our "ttm!" effort too.

Let me illustrate what I mean to you. I just got into an accident on my bike. This huge truck just knocked me from somewhere and I flew and landed on the road. I'm badly injured. I'm semi concious. How do I go with the flow?

So the first thing I do, is to lie down on the road (groaning in pain and rolling about), try to calm myself down (when you crash you get this adreanaline rush or you start freaking out with a million concerns in your mind) so that I will be able to think and assess the situation that I'm in. (Most urgent). After I've calmed myself down, I assess the situation and try to remember what happened and how (this is very very curcial). I then will check the main parts of my body to see if there're any broken bones, and then, I'll check to see where my other injuries are, all when lying on the road. When I see that I've no broken bones and I'm able to stand up, I stand up really slowly so that oxygen will still get to my head. Once this is done, I'll start finding where my bike is, go get it, and bring it to a safe place where it won't get run over by cars. After all that, I find the idiot driver and get his license number. And if I decide I'm not able to ride home, I'll lie back down on the road or sit by the side of the road until an ambulance comes.

An even better example which some of you can relate to:

All of you know that I crashed quited recently and was hopitalised. So what was the first thing that I did?

As I said, try to calm myself down. --> Assess situation. --> Assess injuries --> Decided I was too knocked out of shape --> Think of loved ones and who I must call for help or tell about what happened(not ambulance) --> Let everything else pass by until I'm well enough to think properly again.

Quite a lot of things to do when you're suffering in pain and after your head has hit the road at a force so great that it's able to give you a concussion eh? Don't believe it?

Actually, that's exactly the kind of thing that most cyclists who race at a realy competitive level have to do/train for. You can't just sit there and cry like a wimp. No cyclist is going to stop for you when you crash and help you. The race just goes on, and that's how life is as well. You can sit there and cry all you want but no one's going to help you out. They can't cuz they don't relalu know what's on your mind anyway. You need to quickly accept the situation that you're in, and get going and start chasing the rest! And when after the crash I put myself back on the bike and start chasing the rest of the pack like a dog, I'm forced to adapt to whatever that happens. I'm forced to make adjustments/changes while I'm still riding. And that's what I mean by going with the flow, do your stuff to the best you can do, and when unexpected situations pop out, make adjustments/changes to adapt to it.

I know my illustrations not very good, and so is the language. But I hope you all understand what I'm trying to say. I'm very tired from using my brains, so I shall continue another time.

YF camp 2008

2008-12-21T11:58:00.001+08:00

Camp was so different this year cuz I was the camp master:

1. I get to sleep much much lesser.

2. I can't train during camps anymore.

3. I've to always be on the top of my game.

4. I get tau pok-ed until I'm nearly dead. (not kidding!)

5. I find myself relying so much more on God. Learnt that no matter how much good people I have planning with me, or how detailed our planning was, I still had to really depend on God. Having a good plan was nice. Physically, everything seemed like it was settled. But that's just the physical side. That's was what the camp comm could do to the best of our abilities. But without prayer, without getting my spiritual life back on track, without God, the other aspects of camp would be ruined, and ultimately the whole camp. That's why I think God has really blessed us, the camp comm, the yf. I don't think I'm a capable leader. I didn't really think I was able to be camp master. I didn't think I would be able to be a good discussion leader. But somehow, everything went well.

And I don't think I'm ready to replace/to step up either. But if I must, I know that God is there to help/enable me.

The messages were really good as well. I'm really blessed from the messages, and as I've shared before, this was one of the few times that my notes section was actually almost filled up. I'm not really a notes person, but somehow I just wrote so much. I pray that I'd be able to reflect more and apply what I've learnt, what I've been blessed with, through 2009.

I didn't really share so much about reaching out to people(Janice and Hilda), because I feel that if I myself (or the yf for that matter) wasn't really showing what following Christ meant in my life, how can I/we bring people back to our yf when we ourselves haven't even changed! There're so many problems in the yf, small ones, big ones. I feel that our yf hasn't really changed, and if it has, it's only for the worse. Bringing people back to our yf would just be devastating because we'll just be throwing them in the same situation that made them leave! Or even worse, in an even worse situation that'll make them scarred for life. They wouldn't even dare to come back to CtYF even after we've "changed" for the better. This is something that worries me a lot, and I hope the rest of the yfers are able to see that. We can't just talk about bringing people back to our yf if we're all not right with God, if we're still the same as before (if not worse). We need to clear up and clean up the problems that we have in our yf. We need to put away all the discrimination, all the hate, all the knifes(backstabbing/gossiping), sins hindering us from changing for the better. And after that, start getting ourselves back on track with God, not so much about the physical side, but much more on the condition of our hearts. How many of you can honestly say that your heart is devoted to God alone, that your heart is thinking about God every day? I know I can't. I know that there're many things/many issues that I've to settle with God first before I can talk about changing.

We can't also only have a few people who're changing for the better, while the rest remain stagnant/change for the worse. We also can't have many people who're changing for the better, while only a few remain stagnant/change for the worse. Ctyf is like a team, and in a team, everyone has to be around the same physical level, otherwise, the lousy ones will just drag down the good ones, and the good ones will just be feeling frustrated the whole ride and perhaps never ride with that person again. Likewise, in Ctyf, we need to be around the same spiritual level. Doesn't matter how low it is. The impt thing is that we're all around the same spiritual level. Of course, I'm not telling those who have a higher spiritual level to go down a few levels. I'm telling those who have a low spiritual level to go up a few levels. It's okay if we have a few people who have a higher spiritual level than average, because then we'll also want to improve. I can see that our yf is becoming more and more like-minded, in a sense that many people want to bring Janice and Hilda back. But we must also see the importance of having a spiritual level that is around the same, that way, we can grow together and change for the better. That way, we'll(the few) not get so frustrated at how stuff is going in the yf. That way, we can start bringing in more people.

We need to change ourselves as individuals first, then cliques, then CtYF.

It's a step by step process. Individuals --> Cliques --> CtYF. From individuals, we must start with. From yourself, you must start with. From me, I must start with.

Are you able to say that with me?

2008-12-13T22:59:00.000+08:00

Bloody hell.

2008-12-11T14:48:00.001+08:00

I finally returned the polar watch yesterday, after a long long time ...

So .... I NEEDA WATCHH!!!

The first mark

2008-12-07T12:22:00.001+08:00

We finally made our mark, or showed people who we are, today as a team! Maybe just half the team, but it was the team nevertheless. Actually, team-to-be.

But anyway, we showed how strong we were by ripping everyone's heart's out and making them suffer. And in the finishing leg, we pulled away from everyone and got quite a big gap.

And, it's only the off-season now. Awww... =D

Things are gonna get faster and faster as the weeks pass, and hopefully it'll reach it's peak when April/May 2009 comes. Whooo!!!

It's really nice to attack and attack and attack while feeling that you still have enough gas to give, and when you look back, everyone's tearing themselves apart while trying to reel you back in.

I sound like a crazy mean bully haha!

P.S: It's nice to smile while tearing everyone up!

2008-12-02T21:58:00.001+08:00

I think Dad and I must be the most bored people in Bukit Batok right now.

He's out there watching tv alone, while I'm in here trying to complete my RJ.

Mad

2008-12-02T15:15:00.001+08:00

Wheee madagascar rocks!!! =D

Dum dum dum, dum da dum dum dum de dum de dum dum dum ...

I like to, MOVE IT!!!

Hahaha.

2008-11-30T22:54:00.001+08:00

I don't know what to say.

SIGH.

))):

It just makes me wanna cycle till I drop dead. Ironically.

2008-11-28T23:39:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling damn burntout.

I just wanna take a long break, but you know it's not possible.

Mama!

2008-11-24T11:13:00.001+08:00

I feel kinda sad that my mum's leaving for Jordan so soon ):

It's not that I miss her wonderful delicious yet healthy cooking, and it's not that she does the laundry all the time haha.

I guess it's how much I see her everyday at home, before and after training, sometimes in the middle of the night, super early in the morning. Her singing fills up the emptiness at home, and so does her nagging voice sometimes =P She worrying for me, being there for me all the time.

And even though she's gonna be gone for 2 weeks, it's quite a lot to me. And even more so when my bro's leaving around the same time as well.

It kind of makes me think how unprepared we are in letting people go (death). And if I'm so unprepared myself, how about my loved ones.

2008-11-17T23:09:00.000+08:00

WHOOOHOOOO!!! (((:D

2008-11-15T23:49:00.000+08:00

It kinda sucks.

I've to keep trying to squeeze in time for this and that. Everything has to be so well planned, right up to every detail.

How I wish I had all the time in the world.

2008-11-12T00:07:00.000+08:00

Whenever I don't post something for a long time (1 week), it means that:

1. I'm deep in thought over some issues which I don't want to type down.

2. I'm too tired to even post.

3. I don't have the time to post.

4. I'm too happy over the day/days/week.

5. I'm too sad over the day/days/week.

6. I don't have anything to type. Either because I don't know how to describe what's inside, or I don't want to.

Btw, Metaphors are beautiful.

I'm tired yet happy(:

University!

2008-11-05T15:05:00.001+08:00

http://www.deakin.edu.au/future-students/courses/course.php?course=H343&stutype=international&continue=Continue

Went for this talk about Careers in Sports and Exercise Sciences by this guy from Deakin university from Aussie.

He mentioned that I could skip the 1st and 2nd year, just study there for one year (final year) and graduate since I'd already have a diploma in DSES.

Sounds quite cool, skip 2 years of school and move on to final year ... which means in total, I save time, money and mental strength missing people =P

I'm still hoping a local uni will have a bachelor in SES though, saves a heck load of trouble and money.